Yong Ming's Blog

你长进了吗？

2012-01-03T13:18:00.000-08:00

有些问题很难回答。在研究生涯里，我回答了不少关于“长进”(improvement)的问题。比如在星际争霸的研究中，就有人问：是否玩游戏对玩家有益处？星际争霸不是普通的游戏。它挑战玩家多方面的所长。比如思考逻辑，反映能力，和持久练习的能耐。但至今的访问中，多数人认为－没有益处（但也无害）。游戏就是一个消遣。

为了解游戏本身，我也玩起星际来。这游戏是战略性游戏。需要玩家思考经济建设，战略部署，和战斗攻略等问题。两个玩家之间争战中，游戏是实际时间运行，所以玩家需要在短时间内考量并采取有利行动。为了玩好（主要不要太差），我也思考了许多玩法问题。比如说，如果我要在游戏的第六分钟完成建立某种成分战斗部队，那经济建设和部队训练上要怎么分配？

有人提出一种理念，叫做微小优势论 (marginal advantage)。比如，我可以建立五个采集小组（发展经济），或五个战斗部队，我会怎么样的选择，这一切由我的对手决定。怎么说？如果我的对手选择3个采集，2个战斗；我可以选择4个采集，1个战斗。当对手的2个战斗部队到达我的阵营，我已有足够经济建设多一个战斗部队。及时打成平手，我的经济已占了微小优势。整个星际争霸游戏就是在每个决定上慢慢促进你的优势而最终取得胜利。

微小优势论本身让用者思考两个切身问题。第一，我有多少资源／财力？第二，我要怎么运用这些资，好让我建立我对竞争对手的微小优势？如果我在经营一间公司，手上有一笔投资，我要用多少资源建立强有力的开发团队，多少资源建立销售网络？我可以参考我竞争对手的手段，再做考量。

玩星际游戏玩多了，可能就会在这种考量上成熟些。至少在这新的一年里，我觉得我对事物的思考模式被微小优势论影响不少。

如果有研究人员问我，玩星际游戏有用吗？我会回答：无用。做为研究者，我的访问中并没有游戏有用的证据。这些玩家说：无用，我就如是回答。如果朋友问我，我玩游戏后长进了吗？有，那肯定有。

Poor beast

2011-12-29T20:56:00.000-08:00

I like princess movies. The reason lies in my heart belief, that good people should have good endings. So I was watching Beauty and the Beast again after umpteen years. I enjoyed the movie, but can't help feel pity for the Beast - in this Disney's version at the least.

In this version of Beauty and the Beast, the Beast will remain a beast forever, when he reaches his 21st birthday. The Beast was a prince, magically cursed and turned into a beast by a beautiful enchantress, whom was turned away by by the prince when she needed shelter. The problem is, according to a song in the movie, this event happened 10 years ago. Wow, the prince was only 11 years old! The poor prince was probably home alone at that time and his parents had asked him not to open the castle door to strangers. So he, who had done the right thing, was punished!

Poor Beast! May he and Princess Belle live happily ever after.

Acting Right from the Heart

2011-07-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have ended my four years of being a Ph.D. student. I successfully defended my dissertation last Tuesday. The feeling that I have passed was surreal. Looking back, I have had many experiences, of doing research, of living in a new place, of having a son, of knowing new people, but yet nothing salient comes to mind.

My past four years were by no means dry and barren. I have a son, now 15 months old; published 6 papers with 3 more in writing; I had spent a whole year visiting Disneyland every week; I have played World of Warcraft, Starcraft I & II, Counterstrike, Sims 2 & 3, Dragon Age: Origin, Crysis; we have friends we spent countless weekends. Yet, when the four years were marked with a period, few memory stood out.

Someone wise once said: The moment you are dying, only images of personal relationships come to mind.

This word of wisdom suggests that things such as money and career matter little at the time our life journey ends. However, many lying on the death bed will regret they had not treated other people better.

We tend to remember our acts which flow right from our heart. We as humans are social animals. We naturally care about other human beings. Yet, our society constructed artificial institutions and legalities that organized us into a more productive social group. In the process, we lost touch with many things we would have chosen to do, e.g., caring about other people, watching as time goes by, and not worrying about what is going to happen next.

Life is perhaps like a game. You start the game application, play according to the rules, complete the game, and end your role as a player. Next moment, you are already playing a new role: as a worker, a father, or a friend. Whether you relive the game depends on whether the experience touches you. I remember Dragon Age best, because the storyline is rich. I remember little of World of Warcraft, because I played it out of my research needs.

Yesterday, I spent one whole day with home improvement and watching television at my new home. These activities brought me joy because I was doing them right out of my heart. After that, I took pictures and told people whom I met of what I had done.

I do enjoy research, and I remember many moments of eureka. These are moments when I found something that surprises me. Yet research is not all joyful. Research ends after these moments of discovery. The next stage, of publication and writing, is painstaking and done purely to inform others of your new found fact.

When daily activities became overwhelmingly laden with instituted activities, life also becomes detached with the way we were designed to live. In a way, I had not lived in the best way I could. I do not intend to push my responsibilities away, for they are important to those whom the institutions serve. Yet, there are many snippets of moment between time that we could savor in a better way. Such times include when we walk through a park, talk to a stranger, or spend time with a love one. Each of these moments may seen short, but you can be surprised how many of them are there in a day. We can turn these snippets into a continuous stream of joy - by learning to constantly act right from the heart.

The World is Not What It Seems

2011-03-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

A criminal is a freedom fighter losing his cause.

A dictator is a man for himself--like any capitalist.

Science is the religion of the modern time; hundreds of years later, people will think that our science today is superstition.

A government is made up of its people; when you have bad government, the people usually aren't very good either.

A modder is a hacker hacking legally.

The best way to help yourself is to help others.

帮或不帮

2010-10-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

对别人有益--就帮
对自己有益--就帮

对别人有害--不帮
帮不上忙--不帮
对自己有害--不帮
别人不问--不帮
没有因缘--不帮

不爱拚命

2010-09-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

我拼过命。但再也不会这么做了。

拼命--拼什么？拼时间，拼精力，拼体力。我们拼命大概都是拼这些。

为何要拼命？拼命往往都是因为我们在和别人争某些东西。东西只有那么多，但想要的人很多。所以要拼命。

拼时间，拼精力，或拼体力都好，这意味着我们在为某些利益拼命的当儿，正在失去另外某些东西。这些东西就是这些流失的时间，精力，和体力的牺牲品。

你可能会想，什么东西那么重要，我不能戈下为利益打拼呢？有的，那就是志。

宁静致远，淡泊明志。志就是志向，就是判断对错，就是看清是非的能力。如果失去了志，我觉得就是变成人不像人，鬼不像鬼！即使家财万贯，名声远大，也是浪得虚名，或可能对社会有害。

志是从淡泊的处事态度所得来。而淡泊的态度则来自广阔而清晰的思维。而广阔清晰的思维则来自一颗平静，无畏，无著，无染的心。这颗心不易得到。得到了，也容易失去。时时都得好好保护。我每天都忙这些，哪有空和别人拼呢？

心慌

2010-09-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

天天在忙--忙得昏头钻向。好笑是，人人都觉得自己忙得值得。失去了方向，不成人样，人生也没了头绪。

生活为了什么？声明？利益？白了头，还不是死不带去？白了头的人，快乐吗？回过头来，黑发的年头是不是天天都感到充实，感到明明白白。还是分分秒秒是蒙蒙咚咚？

如果明明白白，今生的每一秒都收复在心里，心就充实了，就不会迷惘。要不，心就迷失了方向，不知所踪。找不到心，就慌了。

想家。

2010-09-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

累了。想家了。

那个家，在心里的深处。那个家，和石头做的家不同。我想回的家，是快乐安详的心窝。

心很散，也很累。最求事业都用了所有精力。精力用玩了，事情还没办完，但身心不听使唤了。

老了，朋友少了。能听心声的朋友也没了。本来就不多，现在更不用说了。

人，追求追求，以为就能快乐。其实这是不可能的。追求不一定能得到，但是做人不能游手好闲。

做事就要努力，这是做人的根本。没了根，那树干就会枯萎，人就会越来越无能。

累了，就休息吧。身体不能休息，让心休息吧。暂时把工作忘了吧，回家吧。

乱想

2010-08-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

生病了，挨了刀子。

有了孩子，天天忙着。

牙痛，没撒法子。

写论文，时间紧凑。

喜欢看书，事实是好久没好好看了。

写文章，倒写了不少！

朋友，不停在变。

其实做人就是很多感慨。拿起一个感触，然后又把它放下。过程中就能体会人生。一切就在念头的熄灭间。

Bringing Jurong East Entertainment Back to Me

2010-01-25T09:40:00.001-08:00

A calm mind feels fuller, and less affected by our environment--still care about but at the same time detached from our daily chore.

When I was an undergrad at Nanyang Technological University, I spent a great deal of time studying at fast food restaurants and shopping malls. I received news that one of my favorite location--Jurong East Entertainment Center. will be demolished, replaced by a new mega mall. JE Entertainment Center is basically a cineplex, a small mall by Singapore's standard. Three storeys high, there was a bakery, a few restaurants, an arcade center, and an ice skating ring on top of a variety of movies to choose form. The new mega mall will be among the largest in Singapore, and will attract Singaporeans living in the west side of the island.

(left) JE Entertainment Center before (picture courtesy of wikimapia.org); (right) JE Entertainment Center currently (picture courtesy of straitstimes.com).

Somewhat sadden, JE Entertainment Center is a place that my good memories would visit. I had spent much of my exam period mugging on the same stone table and chair at the corner at the 2nd level of the mall. The 3rd level was the ice skating ring with few visitors. The 2nd level housed an arcade center. Movie trailers played over and over again from the mall's large TV and speakers. This was my study environment.

At every hour, I would spend 5-15 mins strolling around the mall, as well as the neighborhood. I would leave my bag unattended at the same stone table. I am aware that someone might take it. I doubted it. I am not worried. I would take the walk without knowing where I will go. The walk was my break, to take my mind off the study as well as the stress. The walk was blissful. I walk around, sniffing at the bakery and see if any of the bread would wake up my taste bud. Then, I would walk out of the cineplex. I can go to the regional library, or to the busier market place. At the regional library was more books, so I would normally head to the market place, where the crowd made me feel alive. I would drop by some of the shops. Being a student, I had not much to spend, but at times, you can pick up useful and unexpectedly cheap things. When I was contented, I would head back to my stone table, to find my things intact and untouched, and continue where I left off.

I missed the place. But on second thought, maybe it was not the place that I missed. It was the routine, and carefree-ness. During these exam period, everyone else was stressed out. But me alone at the JE Entertainment Center, was much entertained by the buzzed. The hourly walk was calming. Few things perturbed me.

The passing of JE Entertainment Center perhaps somewhat represented the passing of this way of life. It seems far behind when I can work through my daily life with the same peacefulness. Perhaps if I still had that carefree-ness, JE Entertainment Center would always be there, at the present moment.

Reflected upon this, it now appears clear what is wrong. JE Entertainment Center may be gone, but it is not gone. It represents a potential--my potential. I can bring it back to me.

Random

2009-12-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

Avatar is a thoughtful movie about contradictions in issues of terrorism and environment.

Our life is full of such contradictions.

As we earn some, we lose some; when will the treadmill ends?

We are happier when we care about others; but less so when we care primarily for ourselves.

The capacity to care don't come easy; its within our vast potential, yet denied by our personal ambitions.

Letting go of inconsequential desires unleashes humane energy.

Our existence is built around us, and they are already here, we just have to see.

We felt so blind, that we see the world not in true form, but by colors of our own frailties.

Then our smallness becomes real; as our principal concern.

We wanted to become a better man, one who is not blind.

And life becomes a task of seeing life itself.

The power of 'Thank you'

2009-03-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was awaken by the power of 'Thank you.' First was because of a study I did in China, and then an event that happened in the US. This is a personal blog so I do not want to go into that study in details. You can read my other blog.

'Thank you,' someone told you. And you immediately feels good about what you had done. It gives you a reason to do it again. How many times have we seen someone who bought or saw a nice thing in the mall, and immediately call her parents or good friends. Someone who would say 'Wow what a find? How much is it? Can you get it for me? Thank you!'

'Thank you' is a social asset. Someone's 'thank you' is worth more than the others. But the more important thing is, everyone has some 'thank you' to give to. Those that give 'thank you' readily are generous. Those that don't are social misers.

I my studies in China, I saw so many disappointed volunteers to the community who received no word of thank except picky remarks. Then they immediate think, 'why have I volunteered.' Similarly, a recent debate in the gaming space also sparked some players to flame the volunteers that 'I don't really need your crap' or something along that line. These people are worst then misers, they destroy faith and social connectedness.

'Thank you' - I will have to remember to say it. I think of all the language that we had invented, nothing connects people more than these magical two. You may say it, or bow, or smile, or maybe give something back. They all make your world a better place to live in.

Games = violence? Bah!

2009-03-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Within a few days, I saw computer games being blamed for violence in youth. First was about the cases in Singapore where a student slashed his professor before jumping to his death, and another student hanging himself. Second was about a German youth killing 16 others.

On the first case, a Singapore Facebook user said, "I thk we shld also start looking into the stress our kids have at home. this may includes parenting and society stress...exams...pressure. Restrict Violence Gaming is a MUST !"

On the second case, "The actual problem is violent computer games," says Georg Stiel, president of the club in Volksdorf.

"They mislead young ones, letting them shoot people and animals without being at risk themselves. I would have those games banned."

Shooting clubs, on the other hand, teach respect towards weapons as well as safety rules, gun law, discipline and patience, Mr Stiel says.

"Guns are our sports equipment. Of course they are weapons, but so are golf clubs, tennis rackets and broken bottles," he adds."

(Duh... I wonder if Mr Stiel has a choice, would he like to be hit by a golf club or a gun?)

Why computer games? Because the users are the powerless youths who can be easily lambasted, in comparison with the general adults that watched movies? Isn't TV a more widespread perpetrator of gun and violence? How about our national service (conscription to the army)? We learn how to shoot with a real gun.

My point is violence is violence, just because we could not understand our kids doesn't mean it is due to gaming. Finding a scape goat is to overlook the real issues here. We can eradicate 100 technologies that seemingly inculcated violence, but still not realize why are our kids angry.

Best place on earth for travellers

2009-03-04T22:07:00.000-08:00

Often when we traveled, we would compare places and say, 'This place has good temperature. Not as cold as such-and-such and not too warm. It has nicer scenery, its safe, etc. That place smells and garbage piles.' After traveling so much, I finally had my conclusion of where can we find the best place on earth.

Yes, you are right - the shopping malls!

This was where I went to in Hang Zhou when I was hungry for a place to sit down and write some notes. They said that Xi Hu was nice, scenic, and a heaven on earth. I am not sure why. That day, the lake was foggy, and cold. And there the tree were bare in winter. Perhaps for those who encouraged me, their heaven had always been found in what other had.

For me, the natural thing was to hail a cab and went straight to the 'largest and most central mall.' That was what I told the cab driver, and he indeed, it never failed me.

Nice temperature, lots of lights yet not scorching, clean and safe, pretty merchandices, good food, and beautiful people - isn't that what you wanted in travels?

“Rats in Orchard Rd “ during the bull year?

2009-01-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

Rats running abound in bull year? Looked like the bull brother is not so much in control...

==================

IT'S 11pm at Somerset Skate Park. The lights are off and most of the skaters have gone home. The ground is strewn with food boxes that contain scraps of fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

There is a flash of bright eyes and a rat scurries across the park, heading for the leftovers. By 2am, there are more than 10 rats scampering about.

The Skate Park is just one of several rat-prone areas to have emerged along the Orchard Road and Somerset area over the last two years, say those who work at and frequent the stretch.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_330364.html?vgnmr=1

About Death (by Steve Jobs)

2009-01-16T10:12:00.001-08:00

"Death is possibly the single best invention in life. It clears out the old to make way for the new."

- Steve Jobs

敢敢做个新加坡人

2009-01-07T04:37:00.000-08:00

那天我到了机场，正准备回美。在机场的登机口排队等着登机。大多的旅客是中国人。但在我前面站着三位二十出头左右的少女。他们讲着一口非常美式的英语。但语音中之瑕丝告诉我他们不是美国人。看一看他们手中的护照才知道她们大概是新加坡籍留学生。大概喜欢上美国的语音了吧。

我们很容易发现到，很多新加坡人非常向往西方。但他们当中很多都没有出过国。可能因为受英语教育的关系，我们学到的知识许多来自神秘而相似先进的西方。Maslow, physics, chemistry, 什么的，哪个不是什么伟大的西方科学家发明的。长大后，我们又接触了好莱坞电影，和先进的外国品牌，如microsoft, apple, google, 等。神秘的西方，仿佛是我们所追求的，是一种上层社会的象征。

在新加坡两个星期时有朋友问我，我到了美国那么久，语音怎么一点都没变？Singlish还是那么重。我说我是回来练Singlish的。不然在几年下来可能会忘了怎么说了！其实，我觉得我们没有必要隐瞒我们的文化。入乡随俗，到了国外，必然要用他们听得懂的英语，但回到自己的家乡，为何还要说别人的话呢？

在西方，尤其是居住的好些日子，你又会发现原来他们的社会中有许多在新加坡无法想象的问题。例如保安，政治腐败，医疗，不平等教育，政府部门服务欠佳，与老人被忽略等。然后再想想：新加坡哪里好，西方哪里好。我们对社会问题的角度突然出现了转机。新加坡不再落后了。我们有些方面已达到西方所做不到的了。问题不再是什么都要和他们学，而是什么该学，什么还要自己创造。

敢敢做个新加坡人。我觉得是时候开始想想我们的历史，由来，身份，和去向。政府能为我们策划很多，但路还是自己走的。如果你对自己的身份和去向明确，你就不再需要跟随任何人。新加坡已经跟了很久了，你要跟到什么时候？是时候找回自己了。

Singaporeans - homely poets and artists?

2009-01-06T20:29:00.000-08:00

"88 per cent of children in Singapore believe that it is more important to spend time with family than to bring home a huge pay cheque," so said Straits Times, and I agree.

I was pretty surprised a while ago when a Chinese online friend told me that a man should have great ideals. I haven't really heard of Singaporean saying such things. Perhaps it is true that northern Chinese had bigger ambitions, while southern Chinese are homely poets and artists.

Don't know what to ask until you know what to ask syndrome

2009-01-06T16:52:00.001-08:00

One of a sign of a hierarchical community is the culture of faulting someone for the mistake of not knowing. The reason is that one had not try to find out.

However, the process of finding out goes in circle with the question itself. For instance, I was surprised by the existence of the Fly America Act today, meaning flights booked through any Federal funding has to use American airlines. This defies most assumptions practiced by most communities that professionalism chooses the cheapest flight. But how would you first ask that question if you do not know it exists?

If an organization allows the defendant to argue or circumvent the rule, it is a flat organization. If the organization fault the defendant for not finding out, it is a hierarchical organization. Faulting someone for not finding out something difficult to know in the first place creates a sense of privilege to the holders of traditions - particularly those who have been there for a long time.

Not to say who is at fault or not, just my thought about how power can be created through inter-personal micro-actions.

现实与梦

2009-01-05T04:57:00.000-08:00

我们认为我们的生命掌握在自己的手里。但当我们在现实生活中实现某种想法的时候，都会面对许多问题。有些是人为的，有些是环境没有条件让我们把工作完成。

有些人会因此觉得某某国家不好，不支持我们的梦想。但真的是国家的不是吗？

国家的基本结构是社群。在美，社群可以是公司，专业组织，家庭，学校，公会，等等。在中，社群可以是企业，家庭，学校，党，血缘关系，等等。这些结构里面的规则对人们的行为的影响是我们常常会忽略的。规则可以是社群的目标，社群的分工，和分享利益的方式。群员们不可以轻易破坏规则，否则社群可以惩罚你。而且规则的由来一定有其历史。

结果是在我们圆梦的时候，如果动用了某个社群的设施，我们就得根据它的规矩办事。规矩不容易改变的时候，我们就得变。

而改变规矩也不容易。很多人爬得越高，越被规矩约束。可以说做总统或总理的规矩最多。不然人们会推翻他们。甚至乃至断送生命。那时，我们可能就会不再设法改变，而是随着规矩办事，后来梦就变成现实。我们可能会说梦不实际。甚至在规矩中寻找漏洞，把持权力，把其政治化。

我不认为有不变得规矩，不变得社群。不变就是灭亡有日。但变得太快则会很不稳定，新规矩可能会有疏漏。我们就在这种变于不变中实行自己的梦想。梦想就在现实中变成社会产品。

新年感慨

2009-01-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

今年，我学到了不少东西。但最大的收获，还是觉得自己其实很渺小。

渺小，是因为许多事都不再自己掌握之中。虽然往往我们可以想的很多，而且可以想到一些可能会使整个社会更好一些的方法。但是，当你开始与别人分享的时候，你可能发现一些势力，或个人的企图，使至一些社会现象称为僵局。或则其实无人主宰着这个僵局，而是人根本不想变。现在虽然辛苦，但毕竟习惯了。

当你的美丽文章要推广为现实的时候，你发现了其实该或不该已经不再是你的事了。这是大家对你的提议的了解，和接受的程度的一种结果。如果大家都能接受你的提议，可能这个提议根本不怎么新鲜。但如果过于新鲜，可能接受的人却不多。往往社会学的提议，是在于传统和创新之间出现的。

所以我渺小了。我要接受传统，接受人们的意见。跟着人们的意愿，提出自己的建议。我也接受了。这世界不是我个人的。这世界是大家的。我们一起把它建立的更美好吧！

When reality and ideal becomes far apart

2009-01-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

I think alot, especially wrt to our society, and how it can become better. But too often, the ideal you built in your mind does not match up with reality. Reality has many people, who have their own ideals. Your ideals is but irrelevant to them.

You started thinking back to their ideals, and wondered why yours is different from theirs. Maybe you are shortsighted, maybe you wanted too much but they are simpler, maybe you wanted success but they wanted happiness...

Finally you found that you are abandoning your language and began to speak theirs. You left your ideals to the future and try to reach out to them. Perhaps they would prove you wrong, but perhaps you will prove them wrong.

Sweet is when reality and ideal becomes one again.

Meaning of home

2008-12-30T16:48:00.000-08:00

I am back to Singapore for just a little more than 2 weeks. Home, as Singapore is, the place I was born, grew up, schooled, made friends, and left for my career.

I told many that I am back for the food. The truth is, the moment I touched down, I felt like home. Of course, whenever I am meeting people, except for the very formal ones, there is a meal involved. The food engages everyone in one common activity.

Home is hard to define. Is home the place you sleep over at night, where you grew up, where your parents are, or where your friends are? All these places can be different. So where is home?

I could not exact a simple definition. However, when I was walking down the streets of Singapore, I feel every step to be real. It brings my mind to the moment I was walking. The place felt real. As if all dreams and future plans were put to a pause. This is it, my destination all along.

It was during this time where I really feel like drinking in a cafe for drinking sake. Not because I am waiting for someone, or I am meeting someone, or I need to do some work. It is just the cafe, myself, the coffee, and process of enjoying the process of drinking. The drinking itself.

To me, home is where it feels like home. It feels solid and stable. You could not say you like it or hate it. You may have both feelings, but you feel you have reached the place you should be. I think this is the same feeling why many wanted to fight for access to their home despite it in desolation.

I will leave Singapore again for California in 4 days. But I don't think California will ever feel the same.

Of writing

2008-12-10T18:20:00.000-08:00

Writing is becoming part of my job, and rightly as a PhD student. And recently, I am writing about culture, of US and China. However, it became difficult for me to find representative materials on China, and English sources often see China relatively to democracy - their ideal in US or Europe.

So I turn my readings to Frederick Mote, Lee Kuan Yew, and Fei Xiaotong for inspiration.

After reading their perspective of Chinese societies, in some aspects Asian, I am more than convinced that Chinese, or even Asia, required some sort of justice in terms of how their societies should be viewed upon. Mainly to say, Chinese culture is not yet ready to face with full blown free market economy. People make use of every opportunities to make money, even at the expense of others. Law, often harsh ones, are often necessary to keep people in line. However, we saw less of these problems in Europe and US. People monitor their own actions, or others will monitor them.

We have to be aware, as Lee Kuan Yew often say, Europeans have 400 years to develop to the point that they are ready to adopt real great personal autonomy. On the other hand, even the most advanced Chinese societies - Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, were barely more than half a century old since their people were educated.

Culture, on the other hand, takes even more time to crystallize. When I refer to culture, i refer to social protocols that enable people to work well with one another, they when you contacted a stranger to collaborate, there will be enough trust to begin with. This is very important for knowledge economy, where collaboration between strangers often reap the greatest benefits.

However, even for Singapore, I am not sure if we are culturally equip to compete in these arenas. When i search online for names, say in a government institution, more than likely, I found department emails rather and personal contacts. People are less likely to build civic groups, attend public events, or work with a total stranger.

In such environment, Asian societies are perhaps better off, at this point, to focus on technical skills, efficiency, and hardwork. These are skills that allow one to shine even when they are working relatively alone, non-collaboratively.

Yet, when I write, I have to focus on my audience, who are mostly western. This is not wrong and rightly so. There is no point writing for Asian societies, since in the first place, a US university funded my research. I will be doing a disfavor for myself, for the university, and I am not even sure if anyone in Asia would read it. However, this means I will be writing of knowledge, of creativity, and perhaps of democracy.

At times, this upset me, however, reading Lee Kuan Yew and understanding his pragmatism and realism often bring my senses back to me. After all, it is a small world. There may be no need to differentiate between you and me.

Amzanig!

2008-12-03T13:35:00.001-08:00

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig!

Singapore: A city without slums

2008-10-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

'There is about 5 to 6 per cent slums in more developed countries so to have zero incidence is an achievement worth celebrating,' said Professor Banji Oyeyinka, director of the monitoring and research division.

Well, I am proud of it. There are two primary reasons for this. One, anyone can buy a house, or rent one, and 90% of Singaporeans live in state built properties. The low interest loan (2.6%) comes from the government. Two, bankruptcy act forbids anyone to take away the house.

I am pretty proud of this.

2008-10-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

National table tennis coach Liu Guodong, who helped deliver Singapore's first Olympic medal in 48 years, on Thursday revealed this detail of the two-year deal offered to him by the Singapore Table Tennis Association (STTA). $6300/mth not including housing.
Liu, whose contract expires at the end of the year, has rejected the deal, dismissing it as insulting and insincere'.
In China, where table tennis is the national sport, national coaches can expect to earn over US$10,000 (S$15,000) each month - inclusive of rewards and bonuses,' said the source. 'Even coaches of provisional teams can earn about US$6,000 (S$9,000) per month.'
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Sport/Story/STIStory_294096.html

Given the level of publicity and need for national pride in sports and arts, this somewhat looks like a low point. How much is our talents worth to us? As one of the NTU professor like to say in class,

"If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys loh."

Perhaps that's the message for us.

Decline of US? In what?

2008-10-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7645743.stm

While John Gray sees US as in a 'decline,' "The era of American global leadership, reaching back to the Second World War, is over.."

I remembered the fascination I had of American since I was young. Disney, US army, Microsoft, and other large corporations. Our world's sole superpower. The one nation that ripped the world of bad countries. The one nation that produced great products. The one nation that treasured and loved talents. The one country that we can rely on in times of regional stability... was all these in the past?

The rise of China is indeed phenomenal. Even when China has only had their space walk forty years after US. Forty years is a long time, but it seems just like yesterday. Perhaps because forty years after, there was no more space walk on Mars, Venus, or deeper phenomenal travels towards the unknown. Although there is no doubt the US is capable of innovating better than any countries: Google, Apple, just to name a few recent sons. While China had produced similar ones thereafter, such as Baidu. They were just similar, and I have a strong suspicion that Chinese companies are continually looking for sustained US product leadership, or er... 'copyship.'

"A boss says go, but a leader says lets go." That quote reminded me of the recent war in the gulf. US had shown strength in taking unilateral actions. And the 'if you are not with us, you are against us,' mentally had certainly shifted its leadership image towards the end of a boss. Not to mention the democratically establish national propaganda news network Fox. I had since the gulf war looking at at least 3 different news networks in US, Europe, and China (or Aljazeera depending on the issue), in order to get a better sense of the world. And no doubt many countries chose to maintain silence in the time of lunacy. No one can bear the burden of the world. Yet, instead of getting these to be friends and work together, US continued to provoke countries with different regime as itself - Iran, North Korea, Pakistan, China, and recently Russia. Even in numerous occasions, sing the popular tune of the 'Crippled UN.' The world leader had long shifted its position from one that say 'lets go,' to one that say 'go.' Our leader had turned into a boss. Meanwhile, China continued to show promise in its economy, and recently intrigued the world with how it held the Olympic. And Russia, unintendedly, poked the EU and US by interfering with a former soviet country - Georgia. But again, the inability of US to act, ascertained its stretched prowess, and entanglements in its internal politics.

Today, I am not sure if there is any country that can bear the burden of world peace and stability. The only leader seemed to have faded and performed the opposite of increasing conflicts and instability. While new world powers are rising, their moral stand point and prowess are not tested. The recess of the US appeared to create a void in leadership.

Yet, I do not see that this is an end of an era. US is known to adapt quickly. Indeed, we do not see new ideas coming from the conservatives in US, only continue indulgence in its idiocyncratic beliefs. But there is a new hope in the liberals, and the coming of a new leader. The main challenge of US, apart from recovering from the war torned economy, is the rebuilding of confidence among the new world powers. That US is again one leader to be trusted and followed. Its the world's broker, military and commercial leader. That it rekindles the minds and dreams of children all over the world.

News censoring in the US

2008-09-13T07:15:00.001-07:00

In US, I saw another type of censoring. Not censoring for 'harmony' or 'good of the country,' but censoring what people do not understand, or is incoherent with what people already understood. In this event, CNN censored the entire interview with Putin regarding the events in Georgia. Contrary to previous reporting, and American image of a good-evil world, Georgia's relationship with Russia may be more complex then you think. Perhaps CNN felt that the sympathetic genes of Americans should not be activated to avoid complications.

See the actual interviews from Russia TV with English subtitles:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrQJz3NhcTg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye-W3pL8SAw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqwxqjBb-u0&feature=related

US politics turn into a dirty game

2008-09-10T04:31:00.000-07:00

"John McCain says he's about change too," Obama told a crowd. "So I guess his whole angle is: Watch out, George Bush -- except for economic policy, healthcare policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy and Karl Rove-style politics, we're really going to shake things up in Washington."

"That's not change. That's just calling the same thing something different. But you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change, and it's still going to stink after eight years."

For that, John McCain says Obama is calling Palin a pig, referring a Palin's joke that the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull was lipstick.

(excerpt from http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/washingtondc/la-na-campaign10-2008sep10,0,311675.story)

For some reasons, feminism in US has a foothold of deep hurting proportion. And McCain and his campaigners are playing dirty game to buy the hearts of these women. I do not know what Palin can bring to the table and make gender rights fairer, but beyond that, McCain is trying to get sympathetic votes, which is as pathetic as the war in Iraq.

From my point of view, it is sad to see 'democracy' degenerating into a dirty game. To me democracy represents one thing - fairness. Therefore, every individual has equal rights and opportunity to win and become the better man. For US or the world, I think we are better off to retain the form of democracy we started out with, than to degenerate into a dirtier like of it.

Calming a pool of ripples

2008-09-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

The ten days retreat was a month behind me. After spending sometime in Slovenia and Italy, the mind is again full of ripples. It is such an irony that makes practice so difficult. That the society has invented many ways of causing ripples, such as economics, fun, and competition. They aren't bad if we did not take them so seriously. But we can't. So we walked in every step with a company of dips and indulgence, causing ripples all over.

So to calm these ripples down, we meditate. And an important revelation today (though its not the first time) is I got to meditation more consistently.

A month away from Irvine

2008-09-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

Away for a month. Found myself in a place between Singapore and US: Italy - a place with a long history, so long that ruins stood unnoticed.

The thought of going to Italy wasan exotic one. It is also a popular Americans destination, judging from the number we saw in Venice and Lake Como. Beautiful to see in picture, but the journey wastiresome. I haven't spent so many days tasting hunger, thirst, and tiredness. If you think that the 15% tips 'required' in US restaurants is questionable, then you would find the 'Caputo,' or cover charges in Italy ridiculous. Our first encounter waswith a Chinese restaurant in Venice, where $24 euros order turned into $36.

So we walked to find cheaper food. We walked to find stairs to sit. We walked to find toilets. Not those that charge 0.80 - $1 per entrance. But free ones rarely exist. A subway trip costs $1 euro regardless of distance. So we kept walking. It is hard to imagine in Europe where it is supposedly social heaven, that basic needs cost so much. The obvious solution was to drink less, eat less, and just keep moving. Perhaps this is why Europeans walk a lot, and they seemingly like streets friendly to pedestrians. But I developed lesser desire to be among the gods.

Me hiding from the hot sun.

Walking, we pretended the hardships weren't there, and also invisible were the million tourists. We turned our attention to the interesting - the monuments. Endless of them. Most interesting to me is the rich history stretching up to about 2500 years ago, at the time of creation of Roman empire. You witnessed the size of the Roman city and sophistication of the arenas, baths, market place, aqueduct, and churches. As you walk, you can imagine how the people lived (your imagination supplemented by movies, books, etc).

Arena at Verona

Best of Italy? Gelato, Pasta, Pizza, and Cappuccino! I haven't know what they mean, until I tasted them there. The Gelato (real ones) are thick and tasty (not creamy). Pasta is favorful (not cheesy or tomato--eey). Pizza is thin and even, and a sip from Cappuccino catches your attention. Nothing makes your walk worth more than finding a good cafe or restaurant in Italy. When we tasted the ice cream, pasta, pizza, and coffee on our Delta flight back, we knew we are leaving Italy.

Irvine - Home sweet home.

Put an end to the Human Rights argument - at least in the eastern world

2008-08-09T01:26:00.001-07:00

I am tired of journalists whining about human rights violation. Same old story, day after day. They seem to like to search for such stories, instead of looking for real social change. Reporters are not allow to access certain places, some groups are not allowed to protest, some websites are not accessible, and so forth. Maybe it is due to the breakneck pace of articles turnaround? But I am tired. The term 'human rights' has to be more closely examine, to analyze what are eastern countries violating?

We took from wikipedia, where human rights are "Examples of rights and freedoms which are often thought of as human rights include civil and political rights, such as the right to life and liberty, freedom of expression, and equality before the law; and social, cultural and economic rights, including the right to participate in culture, the right to food, the right to work, and the right to education."

Civil and political rights
This has little concreteness since politics, which are a feature of social change, is different in every country. Try democracy today in Iraq, and you may end up with civil war. Russia opened up its market overnight and see its economy plunged into chaos. We have to be careful of civil and political move, and not every move in the 'rights' way is good.

Rights to Life and Liberty, Expression, and Equality before Law
I do not know how to untangle these from the previous since they are intimately related.
Life is vague and again different in every country. Some people wanted to be 'somebody,' some merely wanted to relax and be merry. So I guess a country that provides for all is good.
Liberty is more complicated. It maybe interpreted as the ability to do what you like. I think the US and some western countries are taken as the role model in this. But consider a Catholic who grew up in inner states may have less freedom to choose not to got to church, due to social pressure. Liberty is thus highly social-dependent. I think more than what the government can impose on its people.
Expression is surely something often referred to as violation. Considered how some western news portrayed the 'oppression' of Tibet. How they framed Iraq has an oppressed state, thus the west should bring 'freedom' to the country. How they expressed Iran, which never started a war, as a new evil. And how a US newspaper exaggerated Bush's popularity to earn votes? Express as much as you like! But do not hurt others. If you cannot control yourself from harming others, the let others control you!
Law has been said, kind of. Simply, law is expensive in some countries and prohibitive to the poor. I think law in Singapore is very equal. You will be represented, no matter what. And lawyers cannot earn so much like the US that leads to prohibitive fees. Furthermore, there is an option of mediation, which cost virtually nothing. Beat this!

Social, cultural and economic rights
All said and done, very little of so call 'rights violations,' at least after the infamous Mao's cultural revolution, infringed on these. If religion such as Buddhism is no longer correctly practiced, it is due to the people own choice and current interests. After all, I have not seen any true religion suppressed. Even Christianity can be preached in China.
Of all, these sets of rights are perhaps more respected in eastern countries than the west. Especially that of economic rights. Some US Olympians have to spend their own money for training. In China, the Olympians drew salary. Per Capita income of Singapore is now higher than US. In Singapore, I can find supper at 2am in the morning and breakfast at 4am. Buses and trains arrive every 5mins or less. In US and even some Europeans countries, such rights do not even exist. In Singapore, driving license can be processed immediately. In US, it takes up to 3 months. In Singapore, you can complain to the state about the lack of street lamps, in the US, you have to live with it. In Singapore, ministers meet with residents weekly to talk about problems. Yes you can setup an appointment with them. In US, where are the senators? I assume the only way to 'talk' with them is to organize a 500 men protest outside their office. They have a term for it - 'lobbying.'

Moving On
Chinese economy is growing at break neck pace, improving the standard of living quickly, while reporters still whining about 'rights violations.' If the journalists do care about the eastern countries, they ought to pay more attention to social change.
I do think both western and eastern system of governance has its benefits and problems. We talked about them sparingly in this blog. But you don't write so much in blogs! Western governance appears to result in more creative system. Eastern governance results in more efficiency.

"The Chinese are a proud people. They want freedom and greater rights, but they know they must fight for them from within. They know no one can grant them freedom and rights from afar."
http://old.thejakartapost.com/detaileditorial.asp?fileid=20080809.E02&irec=1

I pitied this girl whose father was hurt by cultural revolution. I do not condone that movement and I am suspicious if Mao contributed anything to China. But fight!? Since Athens, western countries really learnt how to fight. They have been fighting for centuries, even in endless crusades, senseless religious conflicts. Every democratic movements began with conflict and blood shed, almost like scripted movies. People come together. The regime do not agree at first, then violence. Eastern religions do not fight, and they are less interested in conflicts.

I am not even sure of Chinese wanted that type of 'freedom.' I think the Chinese are practical people, they wanted another type of freedom, the one that is free from fear, hunger, poverty, and access to good life, job, education, and family. If I so condone the word, they are 'fighting' for it now. In a way of hard work and learning from the developed countries. Learning from Singapore even, in terms of developing a paternalistic society (state as a father, that help his children grow and takes care of them).

"But it was the removal of China from the list that drew the most attention. Was it because conditions have improved in China, because other countries have simply gotten worse – or because the Olympics will be held in Beijing this summer? Or is the US looking for ways to improve cooperation with Beijing on such issues as North Korea's and Iran's nuclear programs and the Darfur conflict in Sudan?" http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/0313/p03s05-usfp.html

I have no doubt one day the US will acknowledge China as respecting human rights. But behold, at that time, China has perfected its paternalistic system. China is efficient and rural areas received ample education and adequate infrastructure. Chinese are wealthy and technological advance. US and Chinese are economically reliant on each other. Then the world politics will see a different staging.

Boredom and Blissfulness

2008-07-29T10:39:00.000-07:00

I try not to write boring blogs, but sometimes it is unpreventable. Mentioning that I went somewhere and saw something, played some stuffs and it is all fun, these excites people. Mentioning what I thought about somethings, and move on to something else, I abstract some more ideas, and learn a few things, and all appeared boring. But these 'boring' stuffs are what I did in a retreat I had been.

Boredom - perhaps equates to lack of change and motion for some. But really, that level pretty much is also what happen when one feels blissful. Blissful - no need for change and motion, for one is already contented with the present moment.

It was a ten-days retreat. We wake up at 4am, sleep at 10pm. In between, we meditated for 40 mins periods, do yoga, eat, exercise, and other humanly affairs. All seem the same, except we are all looking within, meditating, ignoring wandering thoughts, reducing information to the mind, including self-generated ones.

You may think, "I think therefore I am." But you will be surprise, even when you don't want to think, you still do! We may like to change that sentence to "Thinking make us who we are," removing the subject 'I,' for we are not really in control. Thinking takes place whether we wanted, and it is not easy to calm ourselves down.

Instead of meaningless 'emptiness,' letting go of thoughts will allow us to observe our thoughts more closely. Recent thoughts fade away as days went by, replacing with older ones. Even faces that we had forgotten may resurfaces, rekindling good/bad memories, learning our history as we grew and changed. 'I' is but a composition of conditions made up of friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, and circumstances. You learn more about yourself, why do you always act in someways? Is it good? Is it bad? Are you happy? Are people around you happy? Where is your life heading?

At the end, this retreat felt like my first, stark contrast before and after, and a lot of reflections. A feeling of rebirth. The fresh air, tender breeze, voices, sight, and touches consume the anxiety and fear. I am neither ready nor not ready to return to reality. For there is neither a need to fight nor to let go. Life goes on, just as it is.

老李的姜还是辣的

2008-07-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

http://www.digg.com.cn/frame.php?news_id=172047

我是新加坡在国外留学的华人，很关心中国的事情，也目睹了在我的大学里中国学生，和洛杉矶cnn大厦中国群众的情操。

起初见到了文章，我想，哦，老李说错话了。。。后来就寻找原文，在Forbes找到了。http://www.forbes.com/global/2008/0616/014_print.html

第一：“中国何时能停止把自己看成是西方的受害者”不是标题，是一个化解了矛盾后老李说见到会发生的事情。

第二：“当受西方教育的人在中国占统治地位的时候，中国人就不会把自己看成是西方帝国主义的受害者”的原文是：“China needs a large, well-educated middle class; if and when it gets it, many of them will have been educated in the West and will be familiar with the U.S. and Europe。. Then, like the educated of Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Singapore, they will cease to view themselves as victims of Western imperialism.”

翻译过来是：“中国需要一个壮大而受过高等教育的中薪阶级。当这个情况实现的时候，许多这阶层的人将已受过西方教育，也对美欧相当了解。与日本，韩国，台湾，香港，和新加坡一样，他们将停止把自己看做西方帝国的受害者。”

看了原文，老李的姜还是辣的。

Peace in the Good Ol'Days

2008-07-15T03:21:00.000-07:00

Where goes the day, where you walk with your friends in the park, 2hours before midnight, mosquitoes bite, but you don't really care.

When did you last sit with your friend, side by side, in the hammock, talking about friends and friendships.

When did you go out with a bunch, without caring when to go home, nor an agenda.

When do you last spending time consoling someone, who is having an exam tomorrow, whereby you are also having yours the day after.

When do you hear words of care and concern, about your happiness, and not your career.

When do you last eat your breakfast alone, in a quiet campus morning.

What did you last walk about, not knowing what will happen tomorrow, for tomorrow is not very important.

When did you wish for a friend, an unselfish giving, without wanting anything in return.

When did you last see an innocent, almost stupid behavior, from a friend, a trusted friend.

When did you last receive your card of wishes, with funny poems, colorful strokes, and shiny pastes.

When did you last get a call from a friend, when the caller has no reason why he called.

不明白

2008-06-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

我们生活着，工作着，常常有用脑的时候。用脑，可以想，也可以不想。想 - 想想如何做得更好。不想 - 跟着过去做。错也无妨，反正你不是第一个。反叛的我，一般选择一者。

想，就是把现有的信息重组，分析，推理，消化成有用的道理。其实就是一种预测。

不想，就是接受已有的道理，加以精练，完美化。

想与不想，其实也不是说哪个好或不好。都是策略性的选择。一，如果某个问题还不能找到好的解决方法，就得怀疑现有方案的可行性。二，如果现有的方案已有效的解决问题，或已受到用户的肯定，那重点就在精练，完美化。

说的容易，又如何是有效的方案呢？如何能衡量。想的人，必须带着不知未来，不明白现在的观点。不知未来，未来变化无穷。不明白现在，现在含有乾坤。就这样，不断地思索，深入。不时，突然发现你知道的东西很少，不知道的尤其清楚。那你就知道你真的想了很久了。。。

The Future or the Present: A personal decision having an impact on a society

2008-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

"What is your opinion on the future of Singapore economy?"
"Don't know ah. so chim..." (chim = complicated and deep: singapore speak)

We do not like to think very much, especially into the future. Its best left to the thinkers. To the planners and governments. They think for us. Such as building Casinos and putting 5 billion into 'Science.' We generally understand casino, since we gamble every time around Chinese New Year. But what is science? Can it be eaten?

Being a 'scientist,' I find hard to answer that question. Often time my Singapore friend will ask me, "What are you doing for you PhD?" Then I will find myself in a dilemma. I have three answers:
1. I am studying online game.
2. I am learning ethnography.
3. I am understanding the impact of technology on society.

Each of these will get a different respond:
1. Got use meh?
2. What is that?
3. Chim.

Frankly, I would rather the answer be the third, therefore, I would tell people I am trying to understand the impact of technology (online games) on society (I really mean society, not just gamers).

Nonetheless, its hard to dismiss the gross simplification of the future by Singaporeans, and I believe, many Chinese. Its not to say we do not think, but whatever is in our mind, its very 'real.' For example, what to buy when I visit Shanghai, what to eat, how to maximize expenditure while traveling, where do I get the best deal, why is this tea 10cents cheaper than the other? These are actual daily problems which we are very good at. Its hard to undercut a Singaporean!

At times, I wonder again, how do I tell a Chinese what is 'science?' I think it means sometimes very real to us right now. Can I make money out of it? How much do IBM pay for a scientist in their lab? However, hoo haa asides, I do think they mean very different things to us. 'Science' is about identifying the truth. If its the truth, you have to accept. And Chinese have been exploring the truth for a long time, for thousands of years. However, our truth may not lie very far into the future, its probably already here. Perhaps its not the way the west understood it.

Where did my sword go?

2008-05-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is an article I have written for a class. Its a reflection of 'doing science' in two different societies.

Being a Scholar Chinese thinks walking a thousand miles is better than reading a thousand texts (读万卷书不如行万里路). Little wonder my best friend repeatedly asking me what I am working on. Its natural that he is skeptical. After all he is earning a lot by engaging the business opponents in consulting. Chinese societies had segregated officials (士) into literary (文) and soldiery (武). But since Tang dynasty, all nobles, officers, scholars, martial artists, business man, and commoners carry a sword. More ornamentary than practical. It carried the meaning of supremacy in the battlefield, carrying the self and country, and righteousness (纵横沙场，立身立国，行仁仗义).

Being a scholar, I read and write a lot. But does very little work, and has practically no enemies. Furthermore, I carry no sword, not even ornamentary. However, I am learning new skills – to orate and to write. Lofland et al followed a long history of way of life inherited since the Greek and Romans. In fact, lots of orators were professional during those times, and all politicians have to learn orating. Lofland et al told us that we need to let our creative juice flow, have something to say, participate in fad and fashion of scientific discussion, be social in our writings, allow others to engage in our debate, feel strongly for what we are writing for, but remember not to let the cats out too early (Lofland et al). These are all very important skills in science. After all, “social science aims are, of course, moral aims” (Lofland et al). And being moral, you will earn the hearts and minds much faster.

Spear-like lips and sword-like tongue (唇枪舌剑) After all in US, it is more of the question, not sword, that establishes superiority. There is how I had heard a joke. In a US company, while nine men beat the drum, one man will row the boat. Whereas in a Japanese counterpart, one man will beat the drum, and nine men will row the boat. It will be hard to be one of the nine Americans, if one could not beat the drum. Not only beating, but beating familiarly enough to capture agreement, but differently enough to stand out. After all “all men are … endowed … with certain unalienable rights (of) life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” It is that right that makes one different.

Its not an easy job. Spear-like lips and sword-like tongue described a situation of heated debate. Where each participant used their skilled glib of tongue PKing their opponent (PK means engaging an opponent one-on-one in a battle. An Internet term recently popularized in China’s media.). One foreigner often felt difficult managing the US style turn-taking method of discussion, where one hardly has a chance to speak. One has to pay attention to feel the rhythm and find the opportunity to beat his note. Like using spear and sword to change the rhythm of the battlefield.

Sword-like Brush Perhaps it was the nature of society that changes the way a scholar should behave. According to Lofland, a scholar is a strong writer who upholds the American principles. This cynical paper does not intend to say this is wrong. Instead, Lofland skillfully crept in much scientific basis in the midst of urging the reader to pay attention to credibility. “First, they have a responsibility for rigorous and self-critical conduct, analysis, and interpretation of the research.” Without making that assumption, it is too easy to mislead their readers towards writing a wonderful paper that cannot stand the heat of the battle. Otherwise, twenty years later when fad and fashion has changed, the book will find itself in the hands of some curious PhD students.

The real work of scholars perhaps really happens before the society begins to scrutinize their work. That is when they are accumulating a lot of data, interacting with them, and trying hard to understand the reality. Then facing the inevitable irony, leaves much knowledge behind while performing the rests of their duties – be it to fight or to write.

References

Lofland J, Snow D, Anderson L, and Lofland L. Analyzing Social Settings: A guide to qualitative observation and analysis, 4^th ed. US: Thomson Wadsworth.

China today and tomorrow

2008-04-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

I am watching China carefully, as somehow, China has become a theme in my research. And an event happens that is worth noting.

A group of UCI chinese students gathered outside a performance hall. They are not there to demonstrate, but to prevent a demonstration from happening. To them, a group of 'ignorant' americans will gather to discrupt an olympic-related performance. According to them, this group is related to Falun Gong.

Not too long ago, Chinese across the globe are incinerated by incidents of olympic torches being snatched off by demonstrators. The most vivid case happened in France, where a torch bearer was flung off her wheelchair. It was, for many Chinese who were otherwise indifferent to their own country, an event that pull them together. One blogger said,

"I have not sing the national song for many years... And I don't even know when is the olympics in beijing... but in that moment in time, we decided to stand together."

Unknowing the significance of this situation, western media are bomdarding China' s 'human rights' failures and that it should not hold the olympics. It touted on guerillanews.com , that:

"Is the unity that is being touted ‘unity’ in the sense that all peoples can come together despite their differences? Or is it ‘unity’ in the traditional Beijing sense of the word — everyone will unite under the same party line and those who don’t will be punished?"

We can almost see a world of a different viewpoints that people have towards their country and their roles towards it. Without arguing for its right or wrong, I assumed here that 'freedom' and transparency is what most westerners, in the sense of Plato and Socrates decent, will believe in. Also, democracy emerges out of violence, of people revoting against 'tyranny.' Yet, Chinese wants neither violence nor do they see tyranny. China is a fast growing body that needs help, but not in the sense of overhaul in its culture and history.

Cultural departure in dealing with country-wide disagreement is a major point of conflict. A western reader Xenophane replied to the protest and said,

"My point is that the Chinese government is corrupt and violates human rights. The evidence is clear. It ranges from their restricting searches on Google.com to Ti'an Men Square to Tibet to poor environmental and labor policies. It does not detract from the people. The Chinese people are fantastic people!"

But to Chinese, its people are the country. Its hard to see individual 'rights' without seeing how it impact on other people. As Phoenix, a blogger and Chinese student, think that if everyone has rights to do or act as they like, she would exercise that right and ban people from her website.

In fact, western 'rights' do come in a package. While everyone fights for his/her own rights, it requires a system to support these actions. These include legal system for settling disagreements, a culture of friendly debate, an education that emphasize articulation, a cultured need for social involvement, and communities supporting information transparency. Arguably, neither China nor any Chinese society have all of these. Therefore, any attempt to implement such 'rights' would only topple an originally balanced system and break the country.

As I speak, an event happen in Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, where 300 professors risk their jobs as their resumes are reviewed by overseas reviewers for tenureship. They are not informed of the criteria and some had been in NTU for twenty years. The sudden change in reviewship is due to a string of implementations to adopt 'best practices' from the US. However, I feared for a mere copying of methods, without considering the cultural backdrop and infrastructure to support them.

Hardcore Guild: USA?

2008-03-10T14:41:00.001-07:00

There are certain parallels that we can draw between virtual world and real world. An example is that of rigority and demands of a society, versus its profile and success.

I am currently conducting a research in World of Warcraft. We looked at guilds in the game, and specifically two types of guilds, casual guilds and hardcore raiding guilds. Here's our description of the differences:

Casual and hardcore guild shared two commonalities, in different proportions. One they share a sense of communality. Two they allow progression in their members. In a casual guild, the former is stronger, while in a hardcore guild, the latter is stronger. These two dimensions are critical to the cohesion and dynamics of guild activities.
In a communal guide, members are expected of understanding and tolerance to other members. ... the environment is less stressful and demanding.
In a progression guild, guild members raise their expectation of themselves and others. ... they also expected more of others, in terms of gear, frequency of participation, and consistency.
We argued that both factors are important to any guild. However, depending on the guild management and its members, a guild can vary in both facets. In some ways, the two are inversely related. The more guild policies and demands were enforced, the less accommodating a guild becomes. However, the more accommodating a guild is, less is imposed on the performance of its members.

Lets see. If you couldn't keep up with the school or your company, you have to quit or be laidoff. You have to work hard for your name and name of your institution. So how close it is to the US versus other countries? There are certain relationships between friendiness, bonding, and performance. Its a wonder if both can be well upheld in any society.

Passing -- the founder of RPG.

2008-03-10T04:50:00.001-07:00

From http://www.mmorpg.com/showFeature.cfm/loadFeature/1810:

On March 4th, the world lost Gary Gygax. Considered by many to be the father of role playing games, Gygax is credited with the co-creation of Dungeons and Dragons and was co-founder of TSR, the brand that led the world of RPGs until it was purchased by Wizards of the Coast. Gygax was 69 at the time of his death and is survived by his wife and six children.

While inventing a game like Dungeons and Dragons won’t get you household name recognition, Gygax was a legend (and I don’t use that term freely) in the RPG industry and with role players worldwide. So much so that to this day one of my favorite episodes of Futurama features an animated version of Gygax. :“It’s a… *rolls dice, sees result*… pleasure to meet you.”

I grew up with D&D and had not know its inventer until today. It brings me many good and lasting memories.

Sigh and sigh and sigh

2008-02-29T21:31:00.000-08:00

In life, there are many things that we can sigh. What do I like to sigh? Hmm... lets see:

(1) That everyone works so hard, in turn makes me work hard, and in turn making them work harder
(2) US has very few good food outlets
(3) It takes so long to establish yourself
(4) It takes so long to get to level 70 in WoW
(5) All large institutions have so much politics that everyone has very little room to manuvre
(6) I didn't meditate consistently
(7) I miss living in Singapore
(8) I couldn't find a way to do research for Singapore
(9) My table is quite messy

It does seem that there are more to complain than to cheer about. Actually, the fact is happy things open up opportunities which you would take immediately. Then they pass. Obstacles stay for a while. So they bother you much if you let them do so.

Nonetheless, if you can't solve it, its not a problem. Yes, but I still like to complain. tsk tsk...

Sigh... :p

PhD? Wow. Tough.

2008-02-26T21:04:00.000-08:00

Many people ask me how am I doing. Recently, I normally say "Alive," "Tired," "Lots of work." Truly, doing a PhD in US isn't easy. There are lots of pressure point beside your own research. Every process was planned out for you, and you have to clear them, like Americans production process.

First, you have to clear about 10 subjects.
Then, there are teaching duties.
Then, there is an exam. You have to read about 53 hard papers, and then take an open-ended exam that last one week.
I think there is a bit more, but all these for now.

On top of these, there is your real goal, to do a breakthrough research and write your thesis.

Tough... its not the difficulty I guess, but more of the workload. And to some extend, which makes you ask, "Why do I have to do this?" "What's that for?"

Guess I am grumpy. Maybe not enough WoW. Oh I miss Ya Kun.

Singaporean's Culture

2007-12-22T17:48:00.000-08:00

Whenever we saw some ang moh's historical artifacts, they make us wonder if we have a culture? Maybe Singlish, we say, which is half dampen by the government's eagerness for us to speak like Americans. Our government says chicken rice is our culture, but we think its more like one of our favorite food.

It takes us a while to realize how different we are. When we come to weekend we think that our life is so dull and boring. There is nothing much to do other than shopping, eating, and movies. But when a Singaporean come to America, you know what is boring, without shopping, eating, and few movie goers. Of which the former two are much higher rated by a true blood Singaporean. Shopping, our favorite past time! But come to an American mall, you wonder why is it open air? Why is it so cold outside and there is no building to keep you warm? Where are the cute cute shops where you can catch an ornament for a few dollars? And why are shop so spaced that you find it so tiring to walk? Hey, and where is the electronics for the weary men? Where is the food court that keep you going?

Talking about food, my hypothesis is that evolution of many ang mohs, other than french and italians perhaps, has effects on their taste bud. Look at the customers of any restaurant, if you do not see any Chinese, its a sign equivalent to danger. Enter at high risk! If there are some Chinese, well a warning. If its all Chinese and almost full, its green light! No wonder we seek refuge in Pho 99 where its mostly Chinese, and some ang mohs with better taste. You may also try the Americanized Chinese food which you will see general Sao Chicken, Kun Pao Chicken, and orange chicken. You wonder who is General Sao or Kun Pao? And why there are only chicken? Oh there is beef, which by the way many of us do not eat. No wonder some ang mohs think Chinese food are boring.

Some of us make very good friends with the TV. So maybe we can watch the TV, which hollywood makes lots of money from. There are 60 channels, which you will probably stick to 5, and the rests you don't sense what they are showing. You are watching an old 90s action show, and then in 5 mins, its commercial. Maybe you are just unlucky, so you flip channels until commercial is over, 5 mins later, another commercial. You wonder where is HBO. You checked, and oh, you need to pay more money. So much about the great American shows. You ended up watching Discovery, National geographic channels, and if you lucky, maybe can find one Asian movie.

You made friends with some ang mohs and you went out dinner with them. But you do not know why they are talking about things you do, where to go, future plans, and work. You wanted to tell them that you didn't do anything and like to idle. You wanted to say you have no future plans and what will be will be. You wanted to ask if their food taste better. But on second thought, that may make you feel stupid. So you try to conjure something interesting or what they may like to hear. But eventually, you can't do it anymore and slide into the background and focus on the food. Its bad, and you wonder again if they are eating something better.

At night, you were driving on a stretch of main road onto a highway and it went dark at a turn. You wonder why there wasn't street light. You slow down. Then comes 2 oncoming vehicles that blind your sight. You kept to the right curb guiding you through while speeding up to the highway speed. Then you realized, everyone is on high beams!

You attended a class, and the lecturer was talking about social subject. 15 minutes into the lecture, he starts flashing recent news and ask for opinion, this went on for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, and half an hour. You wonder what is he trying to teach. You wonder if there is a syllabus. You wonder why is he here when he only wants your opinion? Why don't you teach?

At the end of the year, you were graded average for participation. You studied hard, and for long hours. You try your best in writing the assignments. You hand them on time. You come to lecture on time. But you were silent in class. You were here to listen, and you hardly catch their accent. You wonder why Americans like to talk, and like people who talk? It doesn't matter what they talk about, but just talk.

On second thoughts, I still like the things we cook, I like to go to hawker center wondering what I should eat, I like to shop after I eat even if I do not know what I want to buy, I shop and look at people who do and have fun doing so, I don't watch TV that much but its interesting to look at what people are watching, I like to drive in brightened streets and not to blind other drivers, I like to listen and learn from others than to pollute the environment, and work hard but prefers other to see and not for myself to say. Maybe we are too humble, maybe we are too critical to ourselves, but who says we have no culture?

US Army detain Pulitzer Prize Winner for Undeclared 'insurgency' charges

2007-11-20T07:41:00.000-08:00

According to BBC news:

The Pentagon says additional evidence has come to light proving Bilal Hussein is a "terrorist media operative" who infiltrated the news agency.

US officials say he had previously aroused suspicion because he was often at the scene of insurgent attacks as they occurred.

He did not disclose what the new evidence is.

"Whenever we ask to see what's so convincing we get back something that isn't convincing at all," said AP's lawyer Dave Tomlin.

Calls for his release have been backed by press freedom groups such as the Committee to Protect Journalists.

Is the US loosing 'it'?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7103239.stm

Overclocking nVidia 8600GT

2007-11-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

I just completed days of marking. To be frank, 3 more 1500words papers before I am done. But I am DONE with markings. Today is one full day without compulsory classes or meetings. So I am going to overclock my new system. Treating it as an experience, I am going forward with afterburning my $100 card rather than a $225 one.

Overclocking is considered prettty 'hardcore' for gaming. I used (something like 15 years ago) to see friends doing it by modifying the internal clock speed and its pretty scary. Today there are lots of utilities to help you and it looks more manageable.

I go for websites recommending utility and found – Rivatuner. Can I trust the post? I am not sure. But I see the same utility recommended by another post, which is enough to tell me that – even if its not the best, at least it works.

Following the guide on 3Dguru, its pictorial guide and detailed step by step instructions make it easy to follow. First is to setup some fan speed launcher. I do not know why but it must have to do with the heat produced in overclocking? Next is to overclock the chip. There are two clear parameters: memory frequency and core frequency. I am not sure which is the 1000?Hz referring to. But what will be will be.

The pdf that accompanied XFX 8600GT suggested overclocking memory first, at 5?Hz at a time. 3Dguru did not mention, but showed an example of overclocking to what other users have achieved. I followed the pdf’s approach. It looks safer.

I did, but did not. I followed the incremental approach, but not 5?Hz at a time. More like 10-20, larger at the beginning, and smaller after a hundred or so. But 3dguru and pdf suggest having a video benchmarking utility will be nice. I downloaded something which I conveniently found – Video Card Stability Test (VCST).

Now I am able to start the process of overclocking. I raise the memory frequency gradually, while I am tempted to do both at the same time. I can probably raise a bit without getting near ‘instability?’ I raise the core frequency by 30 as well. But that’s it. I continue to focus on memory clock.

VCST suggested stress testing between 10-30 mins. But if I am going to do it at 5?Hz at a time, its going to take forever. Benchmarking only takes 3 mins. So I did that instead of running test (Start) at every change.

My system finally ‘hangs’ at memory clock of 969. I was a bit freaked. But reset the system ‘logically.’ It was fine. It restarted as per normal and reset to default clock speed. So I use the previous stable clock speed of 951 and ran the stress test (Start) for slightly more than 10 mins.

Next, I did the same for Core clock speed. It hangs at 73?. I restarted the system at set the Core clock at 721. Then I ran a stress test for 20+ minutes. Every works fine for the 20+ minutes.

End results: Core 721, Memory 951.

I am still testing the system by running the stress test for several hours.

Rig:
MB GIGABYTE GA-P35-DS3L P35+ICH9
XFX PVT84JUDD3 8600GT 256MB
CPU INTEL|C2D E6550 2.33G 65N 4M
MEM 1Gx2|KST DII667 KVR667D2K2/2GR

Big fat and short american car

2007-11-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

Something about cars in America is... they are big! Not all the cars. But there are more big cars than what I see in any part of Asia. I heard the same comments from some Europeans too.

Its not a pleasant experience to park beside such big cars. They take up a lot of space in the parking lots, just like when someone take up the whole sit on a bus. When you part in, you have to pay a lot of unnecessary attention to them. Even if you park as per normal, you may find that you door can touch their fat body while within an inch of comfortably open.

On the highway, I also notice that two types of cars will not give way to you. One is the sporty cars which is very short. Two is the big fat cars.

This is the part of the culture which is strange. The short cars are so that its difficult to get into them. You have to bend your body and try to enter the seats, which is not enough. You then have to bend your knees as well. And if you are not careful, your head has likelihood of knocking against the door frame, which is your head is danger, not the door frame. And they are almost short enough to tempt you to walk all over them. They are not of the right proportion. The big fat cars are over sized for a lot of parking lots. They also drink fuel for pleasure. Which is not a proper behavior of cars. Cars are meant to bring you around, not to get themselves drunk when you are not looking. If your chauffeur is like that. You would have gotten him fired.

So I hope relevant people who are reading this would contemplate on the words if you own either a short or big fat car!

Settling down now: what it means to our past and future

2007-10-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

Good life always lie ahead of time. This also means life right NOW is always not so good. But the future is simply a manifestation of our mind. Sometimes, we are right predicting, sometimes not. NOW is the real thing we are experiencing right now. Therefore, to think that if I do this and that, good life will lie ahead, itself its a bad logic.

Good life is NOW! is perhaps the best attitude that we can take. No matter if we are broke or abandoned or faced scrutiny. We should live and enjoy the present moment. Enjoying our own suffering? Where do suffering begins and where did it ends?

Not to take things so hard, not to see anything as absolute, see the change in every moment, and appreciate any results. Life is just about change. Sometimes we lost money, sometimes we pick up a note in the street. Sometimes we make enemies, sometimes we make friends. What is important is when we look back, we see and experience every moment and we WERE there. Not to be lost in depression or losing the sense of happiness and who we are. We were there to face the joy and punishments, and the love and hate.

Sometimes, people taught us that if we follow the way, we will be happy. We will make no mistakes, no enemies, and no bad karma. But this is false. If we follow the way, we will do what is best for everyone at every moment. Sometimes we still make mistakes, enemies, and bad karma. But we face the music happily, as we know what we are doing, and we knowingly commit an act under the conditions we are given.

State of politics in China- from perspectives of elementary kids

2007-10-07T11:49:00.000-07:00

3 school kids compete to be class representative. Instead of running for the good, they ran for power. Instead of arguing fairly, they resort to dirty tricks to destroy their competitors. It was surprising to see this in kids, I guess especially from a Westerner's eye. I myself had not thought of Chinese politics in this manner.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7030725.stm

This shows how much culture can change the way an organization works. Also, it shows how things can turn out badly if one type of organizational processes, e.g. democracy, is copied in a different cultural environment without scrutiny. I think every cultural environment has a way to select the best course of actions and balancing power between different social groups. We need to see how that happens before we can truly say if demoncracy or other types of government is good for the country.

Beautiful music, beautiful minds.

2007-10-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

There is something about people in the likes of Kevin Kern or Picasso. They produce beautiful images and sound, and allow us to enjoy them. But have you wondered, where do these images and sound originate?

We cannot by admire the minds of these people. Who is able to compose a set of sensory objects into something which our own minds can perceive and capture. They tell us our how themselves have felt in certain contexts. If a picture tells a thousand words, painting and songs spoke of millions.

In order to compose such beautiful images, we cannot but believe that the composers have heard or seen them before. Before their existence, in their own beautiful minds.

Coping with change

2007-09-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

Our views change over time. And mine surely is. And at time, it changes from one to another and back again.

When I was an undergrad and grad school, I used to think its not important to plan very far, just adapt with changing time and conditions. It does work and my life is very good.

When I was working, I learnt to think and plan carefully, day by day, month by month, and year by year. Its stressful. But it works too. Then I believe in planning. That one needs to consider to the maximum available information.

Now, I am back to grad school. I was reading a paper that talks about the uncertainty of the future, and goals change across time. While it maybe goal A when we started, it may be goal B when it ended. And at times, we do goalless things, e.g. listening to music. I remember Alexandra the Great, and Sun Pin (a great military strategist of warring period, China): they do not plan their battles, until the very moment where information arrives, and at times this means right before the battle drums. This is because opportunities present itself, at times, very late into the scenario. Information decays and alter. When we make decisions, we have to live in the present moment.

I am quite inspired by these discoveries. And I think I now have something to fall back on, and reconcile both Buddhism and my life experience.

A bomb?

2007-09-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

My door bell rings. I open the door, and a flight of hurried foot steps took off down the stairs. A small, tightly packed parcel was left on the floor. The man was running away.

A bomb?

No... its my power converter. :p As I examine the box, a FedEx truck can be seen reversing and turning out of the drive way.

Iran vs US

2007-09-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

From BBC:

Mr Ahmadinejad was invited to Columbia University to address its students at the university's World Leaders Forum.

He received a hostile welcome from Mr Bollinger, who described the Iranian leader as "a petty and cruel dictator".

"You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated," Mr Bollinger told Mr Ahmadinejad, referring to his denial of the Holocaust.

In response, Mr Ahmadinejad said that Mr Bollinger's remarks were "an insult to information and the knowledge of the audience".

Addressing the Holocaust issue, Mr Ahmadinejad said he simply wanted more research to be done.

He also said the issue was abused by Israel to justify what he said was its mistreatment of the Palestinians.

"Why is it that the Palestinian people are paying the price for an event they had nothing to do with?" Mr Ahmadinejad asked.

Its very sad to see two countries (or cultures) fighting like this. First, Bollinger and Ahmadinejad are speaking of different contexts. Former of the past, that the Jews suffered the most and should be pitied. The latter speaks of now, that palestinians suffered under Jewish rule and should be pitied. Picking the subject of Jews or Palestinian without picking the time makes the debate impossible.

Second, Bollinger looks like a 'little' man. While righteous, totally missed the big picture. Every country has its laws and tolerance and all should respect each other. Without respect, wars such as Iraq invasion happens. But these days, as in the past, guns speak louder than words. On the other hand, Ahmadinejad answered like a gentleman.

Frankly, Iran were enemies of US and media is US's weapon of mass destruction. One wonders why is there no report of Iraqi life in Iraq or Palestinian's situation in west bank? All bombs were dropped on it enemies so precisely destructive.

In all, both sides can be faulted on some degree. But the weight is clearly all loaded on one.

Sweet Singapore's Dream

2007-09-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.colinandyenyen.com/wordpress/paved-with-good-intentions/

Processing as individuals vs processing as a unit

2007-09-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

In Singapore, we often see IT dept email as support@xyz.com. In US, esp organizations, we can see names, e.g. michael@abc.com. We will miss the picture if we think its interesting. In Singapore, probably in most Asian countries, individuals fade off and function as a unit, represented by their leader, who don't do the work. In US, each individual play a role, and become part of the work system.

Therefore, in organizations in Singapore, when you need something, you often visit a unit, and be served by someone, who probably follow a protocol, and process your needs. In US, you are asked to look for a person, then follow by another, then another. Sometimes, you know someone process your travels, but she could be your administrator. If she's on leave, you are left with little or no help.

I wouldn't say which is better. But Singapore is a manufacturing world, and US is the information world. Working as a unit, there is culture and rules. People work within a system to do what they are assigned to. In typical orders, they can be very efficient. One can take over another easily. Working as an individual, one become very specialized. One can build depth. One can create opportunities by exercising creativity. This leads to more permutation and possibilities. As a unit, one can hardly maneuver.

But in US, you can get a lot of frustration with the type of service you obtain. Sometimes, you just couldn't find a person, or encounter one who stick by rules like vine. That person, because there is no one else, can become a bottleneck. But I think overall, there are more people with energy and brilliant ideas, and also receive others the same -- with an open heart.

The social side of us

2007-09-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

I bought a new Nokia charger. I couldn't find mine when I arrives. I guess its in one of my DHL package. Til now, that package is still being held by US custom. So much for express delivery!

When I arrive, I was quite panicky as I was going to be unplugged from both the Internet and phone. To tell you the truth, its quite scary. We can find a lot of information online, and without it, out life function at less than half the speed. Without the phone, you cannot be found by others. You do not get the choice, and do not know what others might need from you. You may be ignored.

Other than the productivity side of us, I think there is also a social side of us. I remember a Tibetan tour guide who is quite well to do as his household owns 20 Yaks (which is about 10k/yak). But he thinks his family is outdated, and he wanted to work in the city. He thinks economic development is good. He wanted to be part of them.

To me, the thought of being forgotten can be unnerving. Forgotten and dissappear in this faceless world? where you see your friends on msn, sms, and emails most of the time. Actual face to face is so rare, especially when you work at home. Plugging into the world may be the only world to show that we exist.

My second day in Irvine

2007-09-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

I finally has some mental space to do creative work such as blogging. Just yesterday, everything was frantic.

This is my second day in Irvine. Actually barely 25 hours. I arrived at 325pm at the housing office, where I need to check in my apt. Before that, I need to pay for the rent at the cashier. I was told that cashier closed at 330pm! I have 5 mins to 'run' a long way! The kind reception gave the cashiers a call and I started running.

Actually I probably read that 330pm thing somewhere. But that's the only timing for my flight. I probably kept my finger crossed when I need to make a decision whether to stay over in LA for one night or head to UCI from airport.

I ran the wrong way! I asked someone again and he gave me a direction. And again, its the wrong way! It takes another runner who lives at Palo too to tell me the way. I arrived at 345pm, dejected and planning to stay at a nearby hotel for the night.

Actually a lot of things went through my mind. "Can I get an exception and pay tomorrow?" "Why don't they build more road signs so that I can follow the map better?" Talking about following the law, often time Americans are stricter than Singapore. But its different environment. While they follow laws, kind folks lend their hands by going the extra miles.

The office is closed, but another kind lady waited for me after the call. I paid in cash and got the papers done. I got the apartment keys. I finally got to open the door about 5-530pm. There are two pieces of USPS failed shipment leaflets outside the door. My electronics probably couldn't arrive on time. The apartment is empty but looks ok. Carpet flooring as the norm in US, and room is pretty cool. One room is totally west facing so felt quite hot at this time.

I checked through quickly to look for damages. The old blinds have pieces fallen off. But its ok. ...But there is no lights in the bedrooms!

Another US 'feature,' no lights in the bedrooms. This also happens at the last place I rented. It didn't have much impression on me as someone already helped me found a table lamp. Now then I remember that guy!

I looked into my luggage for power supply to my laptops, cellphones, and wireless router. I couldn't find my power supply adapter. Singapore uses 3-pin rect plug. US uses 2 flat pins. Without power, I will be ex-communicated in 3 hours (when my batt die).

Now I am in an interesting situation. Phone and laptops potentially out of batt tomorrow. I will need adapter soon. But my adapters are in my failed shipment, which I will need to make phone calls to rearrange. My cellphone is Singapore registered and bills will be astronomical. So I can only make the call from housing office, if they lend it to me. I can get new adapters, which nobody sells in the vicinity. I can buy online, which I need my laptop.

I tried calling with my cellphone but the person puts my on hold for so long that I have to give up. I finally call my wife in the middle of the night to help me call from Singapore, which is way cheaper than I call from US. They finally agreed to deliver the next day.

I need to buy or rent furniture too, which Corts have catalogs online. But they need a phone number to contact me. They also charges $250 for delivery of a bed. I cannot go and buy a car now as I require a driving license and social security number. To get a driving license I need to read up the highway code online and do a test. To obtain social security number I need papers from the school. These problems go in circles.

Then I remembered my Master thesis on communication and mobility, which enables all other activities. So true. I am facing potential breakdown in communication which everything will die off. I have limited mobility in US as I cannot buy a car so soon.

I am so happy later today to find a shopping district beside the campus. It has T-Mobile and Sprint, althought Sprint is closed. I got a T-Mobile prepaid, which is such a relive. I chatted with the assistants, whom from nowhere took out a power adapter converter for me! It was such a pleasant surprise! My life got empowered again!

What happen next? I felt like writing my blog!

When not helping is helping.

2007-09-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

In life, we have a lot of chance to offer our hand, our time, and our expertise, so that conditions may be improved. But so often, we may be unconsciously making condition worse, rather than what it seems to be.

A group of friends and I organize meditation classes. Target audience are usually Buddhists. These classes used to be free, as Buddhism had been, for the past hundred of years, a religion of the lower class. (It was higher class during Han and Tang Dynasty.) As a result, activities are usually free or staff with volunteers to make up the low income. As this becomes a tradition, Buddhists organizations in Singapore are often found in the poorer parts of Singapore, eg next to the red light districts, in warehouses, and older shopping malls. Also courses are usually free or next to it. We tried conducting $30 camps before and were told off to be uncompassionate. Not to mention our $200 course...

I chanced upon a startup company, who needs expertise in user experience. They told me they are low on budget. A normal study would have cost in the excess of $20k+. As I wanted to make a point that small companies can also benefit, I made an offer of $5k. They were slow on reply and when they return to me, they indicated that they need to lower their budget. So I looked at my schedule and thought there are some free slots. So I ask for a complimentary amount of $1k. They never got back to me until months later, when I was overwhelmed with work...

Sometimes I wonder what we could have done different. Singapore is already an affluent society and people can afford things. $200 courses seem expensive relatively but people are earning in the excess of $2k/mth. It should be cheap considering that a meditation teacher need 10-20 years of training. Besides, free courses are not substainable. Only large monasteries with large prayer groups can generate enough incomes to substain education. If we stop giving free courses, people will stop attending them. But maybe for the start. How about for 3 months, 6 months, and one year? Sooner or later, people who are really keen will come forth, and influence the rests. Then, the culture and perception will change.

I prefer to help the startup as they are really in need. There is no funding, and they can benefit from the work. Too bad that, perhaps they were skeptical of my intention, they were slow to react. Or they were really busy and not ready for help.

The point is that for what I do, I always look for to create a substainable ecology. Where both giver and receiver can substain their activities. I believe neither in free lunches nor over priced services. Give what you can for what you receive. Perhaps the giver can give more people as a result. More people can also receive a goodwill. The market 'price' you set for a service will also support a more vibrant community to appear. As the saying goes "Teach a man to fish, rather than giving him a fish, if he's not that hungry."

World demanding US pull out from Iraq

2007-09-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

Top countries demanding US pull out immediately:
Mexico, Russia, Turkey, Indonesia, and Eygpt

Countries preferring a gradual pull out over a year:
US, UK, Australia, and South Korea

The statistics look interesting. Countries with troops actually prefers a gradual pull out, comparing to those without troops. One begins to wonder: Why do countries with troop prefers to spend more time and money in a foreign nation, rather than just get away and done with, preserving resources and lives?

Pulling out certainly means more resource commitment. But what are the benefits? I can't tell but I guess it may have to do with national dignity?

See statistics:
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44100000/gif/_44100088_us_forces416x300.gif

Memories made up a person

2007-09-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was looking at cards that I received for the past 15 years. You don't get these things anymore, as everything is digitized over the past 10 years.

Just before I start reading, I did not realize I have left so much behind me, friends from my secondary school, friends I have helped, friends that have helped me, favors owned and forgotten, poor feelings toward another human beings ...

I saw an old note (1996) written by a GP teacher to me. In the note, she apologized for writing late as she was busy. Her son was more active now and her sister contracted cancer. And being in a big family, she had more responsibilities. I did not understand the note then, but I do now. I wished to find her, but we had lost contact. All she left in the Internet is a directory in NUS law school.

Another friend of mine apologised for how disheartened she was for the state of the society we were running. She regretted to despair and did not mind that I do not wish to run a second term. I did not seem to remember this event but this is much more vivid to me now. I wished I can turn back time and be a pillar for my friend.

One can't judge his own actions except when its history. In future, one will become wiser and objective, where tiredness and misunderstanding were forgotten, then we see if we would like to celebrate or regret our choices.

Let this be a reminder for me, that what I do now, I shall judge my own actions in 10 years time, whether I have done the right things. For my actions, which becomes my memories, made me up, and on death bed, I shall look back and see what kind of person I am.

A reverse ideology to LKY

2007-09-02T18:04:00.002-07:00

"When you have a problem in the mirror you do not fix the mirror, you fix that which is reflected in the mirror," Vint Cerf, Google's net evangelist and a founding father of the network. Comments made in relation to whether the net should be regulated because of mis-uses.

I just commented about Lee Kuan Yew's comments on changing a country's behavior to suit a first world one, which may account as building a cultural infrastructure. Vint Cerf's argument, on the other hand, may constitute another, more tolerant perspective that any mis-behavior in our society should be seen and solved at its roots rather than on the surface. E.g. the objection of Singapore's government to any demonstrations at IMF held in Singapore. The European leaders wanted the demonstration to see what are the problems. Singapore government wanted order and peace regardless of their concerns.

These are two distinctive ways of solving the same problem. And what is ideologically putting Singapore at odds with some western countries. I am not sure which is better. But its fruits for thoughts for now.

Tribute to LKY

2007-09-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from New York Times. Interview with Lee Kuan Yew:

Asked whether, looking back, he felt he might have gone too far in crushing his opponents, sometimes with ruinous lawsuits, sometimes with long jail terms, he answered: “No, I don’t think so. I never killed them. I never destroyed them. Politically, they destroyed themselves.”

Singapore’s secret, Mr. Lee said, is that it is “ideology free.” It possesses an unsentimental pragmatism that infuses the workings of the country as if it were in itself an ideology, he said. When considering an approach to an issue, he says, the question is: “Does it work? Let’s try it, and if it does work, fine, let’s continue it. If it doesn’t work, toss it out, try another one.”

“We built up the infrastructure,” he said. “The difficult part was getting the people to change their habits so that they behaved more like first-world citizens, not like third-world citizens spitting and littering all over the place.”

Its sometimes hard to misunderstood a wise man. And LKY looks like one of them. When you hear these from his mouth, his ideology sounds like far reaching at meta-perspective. I like the 'ideology free' ideology and changing the cultural infrastructure thing. These are problematic though and take an very ambitious man to even try. 'Ideology free' ideology does not pin point a common standpoint and does not encourage common identity. And changing culture is difficult. But this man tried.

Sometimes, and I think many Singaporean did, is to avoid taking our dislike of the country on this man. He's smart and he brought us here in his dream. Still, many things lie in our own hands. We still have to deal with difficult people who are put at the helms of important institutions in our country. LKY does not really control everything. Something he has to leave to his men to do, and trust them to do it.

I think many talented men were frustrated in not being able to release all their potential -- a by product of a heavily regulated state with a low appetite for risk. We cannot blame LKY for this as I thought he understand this with his perspective on cultural infrastructure. And he's trying to change it. But a pat on a back of an old man. We sometimes decides on own path based on many factors. Not to say the least, Singapore is a great place but may not be for everyone.

Risk aversion

2007-09-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

5 years ago, a french scientist told me the problem with Singapore is not creativity, but risk aversiveness. It rings true, but I haven't seen it with my own eyes. Today, I gave him a thumbs up. More if you so like but I only have two.

1. I met a local university professor who told me making a proposal would take 3 weeks of solid 8 hours/day filling in forms that ask about everything. That is about $10k include overhead I believe.

2. Nobody encourages me on my PhD, except those from my profession and those who knows my future professor. Everyone is skeptical. Same question asked, "Why do you want to study more? Do you like to study? How about your house? How about your kids? How about your wife?" To parents, I have to use the money terms (how much is the funding worth) to convince them its good investment. I have a different explanation for everyone.

3. No companies seem to like consultants. But everyone like training. The former seem expensive and latter seem economical. I am not sure but I think the latter is much slower. I even know of a company which trains its guys for one year before they actually start doing anything productive.

4. Very few new things appear in Singapore. Even Creative copied its MP3 player from Apple, which is not too Creative. I haven't seen anything new. Even my father ask me to go to the states and see what can I learn and bring back to sell.

5. Almost everyone freaked out when I wanted to paint my dining room red. It turns out to be fantastico.

6. Lastly, almost everyone travels on guided tour in China. I am glad my wife didn't freak out when we went Yun Nan on our own. We saw a glacier.

I like freedom to risk, on good calculations. I think we either gain more or learn more then walking on sure paths. Often, its ourselves which we begin to know more: our short comings, limitations, and potentials. It makes us who we are.

Who I owe it to? Singapore or states?

2007-09-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

Some days, you felt a surge of feelings which you wish to write down and share with others. I guess this is one of these days.

I am leaving Singapore soon. For the second time. First time, I applied to an internship position, and surprisingly, got it. I was 1 out of the 10. Now, I was accepted to a PhD program, again was my only application. So life seems driving me somewhere.

Looking back (to Singapore), and back again (to the states), they are two different worlds. I like some of the former and some of the latter. Singapore, there are kind people, few (visible) social problems, stability, and lots of jobs. US, there are good opportunities, daringness, people who sees your potential, great colleagues, and excellent companies.

I love Singapore, but frankly, I felt I owe it to the states. Singapore educated me under a harsh and competitive system. I almost became who I was not. I always love psychology and society. But I was molded into an engineer. My Swedish professor and the states gave me the opportunity to do what I do best. The educational investment I received from the states combined to almost what my house is worth.

I am very grateful to everyone who has given me the freedom and opportunities to create and make a difference to my life. Similarly, my greatest happiness is to receive and in turn pay back to the society. To be accepted and able to contribute to the society is what I believe to be one of the happiness in human life.

Army Daze

2007-08-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

One week of 'National Service' is enough to bring back bad memories to put out any little good feelings for this small country. Poor organization, preparation, planning, early mornings, late book outs, sitting and doing nothing with no orders, and foolish things to sew are some of the unnecessaries. Really wonder what's wrong with the organization.

Test week

2007-08-02T16:27:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, all important things happen in the same week:

1. Physical fitness test (not so important, but my second time anyway)
2. Business presentation
3. Driving test (not so important but I spent quite a bit money in it)
4. Birthday

I called it Exam Week. But nice to end off with a birthday.

Lessons from Tibet

2007-07-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

"Communists have done some good. At least we now have roads. Some years ago, there is no road in these mountains."

"But it once was good for cultivation. No?"

"We often blame our poverty on these mountains and rivers. But we know that city dwellers are stressful so they like it here. But we wanted to go to the cities."

"Are you happy?"

"Here in Tibet, if you are poor, nobody says you are poor. When you are rich, nobody says you are rich. We are just like ourselves."

"There's no stress here."

"Yes."

Glaciers, Yak, Misty mountains, and 2 KG of fats

2007-07-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

I returned from Yun Nan. More specifically Kun Ming, Lijiang, and ShangriLa (Xiang Ge Li La). It was more of an ethnic, cultural experience than a sight seeing one. Even lesser element of shopping and eating (food is yucks).

Kun Ming is almost ran by the common Chinese. Those driving the economic engine with rigorous energy for wealth and a kinship built with concrete. Construction is everywhere and drivers and hawkers is sharp with the appearance of tourists. Most of the tourists are internal, from the richer cities like Shanghai. But people of inland areas should take most opportunity while they are here. To get a pie of the richness generated at the coastal.

Lijiang is a fushion. There are more minorities. But I am surprised that the town is ran by tourists like myself. Its a tourist town, a shopping mall, built on the foundation of well thought of city planning when it was built 700 years ago. One main river of Yangtse split into 3, then 9, then 27, then numerous smaller streams supply the whole town. The streams, however, is now somewhat polluted with tourists junks. Locals quickly pick them up as soon as they see them. But you can see that they have to do it quite frequently to keep the town clean.

At ShangriLa, we heard from the tour guide that they are not so fortunate to receive millions of dollars of grant from the government to build a tourist attraction, as such much of what they used to have remains. Nonetheless, I have the most of the good time there. We went on a local tour which lasted four days for 500 rmb, about 100 sgd. Pretty good. Most of the trails are mountainous, so its was quite a tedious journey. Nonetheless, the sceneries are fantastic, and mountains look endless. Almost about 50-100m is a turn as the mini bus drove through the winding road.

I do not appreciate the old towns. These are money generating machines sucking tourist dollars. Away in the Tibetan temples are quieter and more like ShangriLa. We also went to stay at Fei Lai Si ('Fly to Come' Temple). It has the most direct view of the Mei Li Snow Mountain. Its has 13 peaks above 6000m. Clouds covered most of the peaks for the day. Yet, as night falls, clouds, mountains, with a back drop of blue sky makes the window view look almost like art.

We went to climb Mei Li Snow Mountain on the next day, from 2500m to 3500m. The trail is 8km long rising almost 1km. It was tough. I rarely pant like that. Nonetheless, after 2..5 hours, we made it to the glacier. It was the lowest glacier in the mountain, and it was the height of the trip. And it costs me two kg of body fat.

The glacier is huge, wider than any river I have yet seen. Ice get locked like rocks for a long time. It was summer, but the ice do not seem like giving way. Its tightly stubborn to show its magnificent. The glacier display right below our viewing platform to the top of the mountain, right above the clouds.

To live and die and over again

2007-07-10T05:08:00.001-07:00

We live a life time, and die, and live again. At least, that's what who believes in reincarnation, says. Life time is seemingly a long time, or is it?

I found a job in Jan 2005, the company went relocated to cheaper countries, and was out of job in Aug 2005. That's the life time of my first job. And its only eight months! Life time is simply the length of an object arising, changing, and dying. We live many life times in while we breath. Enough for us to taste joy, sadness, happiness, regret, success, and failure, over and over again.

As such, reincarnation is never too far away. We experience it all the time, but whether we knew it, is another matter. And so, I had many reincarnations, one of which is the arising of one work related project and its death, arising of another and its death. So much that its enough to be numb to what its all about.

I guess when we work, we all started with a blind enthusiasm, that everything seem perfect, that we got a good job, and all seem working towards success. Then comes the politics, obstacles, people factors, and down goes the effort. Then it happens and again. And we think its a bad company. We quit and found a new job. And the new job doesn't seem better.

In life, many things is so. I guess that's why Buddhism says life is suffering. But through suffering we grow. But we must be willing to grow to take advantage and make suffering worth.

So I guess reincarnation is not a bad thing. Its the arising and decaying of concepts, objects, and our life. Through it we see interdependence, and we become wiser. We should be thankful that life changes and we can learn from it.

Sick of WoW

2007-07-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I thought I can play WoW forever. However, you do get sick of the repetitive patterns in games. Grinding, leveling, twinking, and look for group. Especially the last one, which is ultra hard on my server. Until the whole 'second' life in WoW seemed like a script. I guess its the end for my WoW stint for a while.

If you can get sick of your life, how about a structured environment like games?

Why leaving Singapore?

2007-07-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

In two months or so, I will be in some part of California, settling down and wait for my PhD to start in late Sept. Why do I want to leave Singapore now? That my career is kicking off, bought a house, and everything seem to be settling down? Its tough to fly to another country and settle there for a while. There are new people, new environment, and way of life to adapt to. USA is great, or so say many people who went over for holiday. Miss home its, for those who went for work. Great working environment it is, as far as I can tell from my one year stint in Minneapolis. Living environment is marked by serious wealth and poverty gap.

I like to see things from a long term perspectives. Decisions made by such is more sustainable. Giving the work environment within the research industry, its almost crippling for a serious researcher not to have a PhD. Say you just bought a house and is looking for a renovation contractor. You have not done it before and is not even sure what to look out for. Would you approach Uncle Lim who worked in this line for past 10 years, but doesn't speak English, have no shop front, couldn't produce a breakdown and quotation, and doesn't even know how much its going to cost. Or Sanders Design, who's boss is a well dressed yuppie, speaks excellent English, breaks down the cost nicely, although a bit pricey, and seem to have done a lot of work, and has a nice office with show room?

Customers who look to answer a research question, especially those not in the same field, look for PhDs and professors for advice. Consultants doesn't seem very popular in Singapore. I guess the number of freshouts working in prominent consulting companies have some impact. While I always say that when hiring a consultant, look at their resume, not the company they work for, it takes a trained eye to spot the difference.

What to do? As a Chinese saying goes, 'Ten years of window chill.' Now the hardwork to get some name, fame, and a little deeper in thoughts.

When do you know you have a family?

2007-06-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

One day, Someone come and ask you, "Help me get XYZ," and you go "Eh..." but you do not know how to say no. No reasons are good enough and no excuses seem fitting without hurting this person somewhat. Then you know that is your family member.

--------------------
One day, Someone ask you to go for a dinner. You have some work to do, or maybe you would like to meet Someone else. But you cannot find excuses to turn down the dinner. Then you know this person is your family member.

--------------------
Someone told you that you should do XYZ for Sometwo. And Sometwo has given you XYZ before and so its time to repay. Although you know you didn't ask for XYZ when it was given to you, and you have to accept for politeness. You cannot say no. Then you know the both someone and Sometwo are your family members.

After another retreat

2007-06-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Meditation retreats are the best things I have found in life. Ever since I was conned to one, by a glibblish friend, I have never stopped in any year.

In a retreat, the mind meditates most of the time, except during sleep, which you have no control. There are sittings 30-40mins each. There are also yoga, walking, running, prostrating, dining, and personal time. While awake, a person is ever mindful of his actions. When a person tries to be mindful, that's when the strength of his random and uncontrollable thoughts stream becomes apparent. We are so used to thinking is some ways that we cannot stop the thoughts from moving in those directions. It takes approximately 3 days to calm down and let go of those before we can even start meditating in relative peace. In retreats the objective is to do deeper into mindfulness and to attempt deepening our wisdom.

This retreat was so timely. I try to meditate everyday. But truthfully, I had been combating thoughts for a long time. At times, I have forgotten the sound of breathing, feeling of the wind, and warmth of my body. Like Frodo in LOTR, he has forgotten all that is in the shire, and only the ring and him in darkness. Excessive work has similar effects as the ring.

Now, I have enough energy to redirect my life to the balance. Work-life hanging in the balance, each playing a part in spiritual development.

What will happen tomorrow?

2007-05-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

Life, cold as the freezing fog. Where to go? What to find? Mystery awaits as we forge ahead.

Intelligent beings sometimes choose to stay. Moving ahead brings too much unknown. Bliss is what some claim as the resting place.

Seeing only a few feet ahead, the mover walks with anxious steps. At times, he wishes he will find a resting place.

Did China invent the '4 Great Inventions'?

2007-05-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

Its hard to understand how they managed.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=454160&in_page_id=1770

China has earned a reputation for perfecting the faking of Western fashion, perfumes, DVDs and CDs to a fine art.

Now it would seem the country is capable of copying whole theme parks after a phoney Disneyland was exposed.
A banner over the entrance said, "Disney is too far, so please come to Shijingshan".
The park’s deputy general manager Yin Zhiqiang denied any copyrights were being breached.
"The characters in our park just look a little bit similar to theirs. But the faces, clothes, sizes and appearances are totally different," he added.
"The face of Disney’s Cinderella face is European, but ours is a Chinese. She looks like a young Chinese country girl."

Being a Chinese, although born in Singapore, I felt uneased by such irresponsibility.

Here's an attitude from a reader,

Surprisingly, or not surprising at all, this thing is state-owned.
So basically China is trying to say "We can copy whatever we want!" as a country.
I guess there is no concept of copyrights in China...

- Macfan, NY

Feet hurt?

2007-05-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

Pedestrians in Singapore were crowned the world's fastest movers, walking 30 percent faster than they did in the early 1990s, and in China, the pace of pacing in Guangzhou has increased by more than 20 percent.
http://www.themoscowtimes.com/stories/2007/05/04/255.html

No wonder my feet blister and leg sometimes hurt after a day out.

Happiest things in life

2007-04-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

Friday is a happy day. There is another happy thing, on top of spending time with someone you love. That's to have frozen durian, in an air-conditioned bedroom, with icy cold glass of water, classical music in the background, and with nothing else to think about. Talking about pure land, to me, this is one.

Free trials beware.

2007-04-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

There are many 'Free Trials' today. Typically, they asked you to sign up for a 'free' service for two weeks to a month, asked you for your credit card number, which 'will not be charged.' But why would they want it if they are not using it?

Without knowing, you tried and dissatisfied, stopped using the service anymore. Time passes and you have forgotten about the application. Months later, a strange item appear in your credit card bill. You do not know what is it. Vendors sometimes have a different company names from their brand, and others use another vendor to handle internet payment. How would you know? You decided to pursue and make a search on the Internet, and there you go, found that 'free' service company charging you for something you do not want! Furthermore, they have everything on their website, except something on 'How to cancel.' No links, no number to call, no FAQ.

I just had this experience from Bluemountain.com. One month trial and a $10 bill. A while ago from Surveymonkey.com for a hefty $300 bill. Surveymonkey refunded my charges but I am not sure about Bluemountain. Not to mention my past experience with credit card companies, retail memberships, and online music and videos. My web host and virtual office always remind me before deduction, why can't others do the same?

How calm is calm?

2007-04-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

In many movies, there is a scene where a female witness a fatal accident and a kin died. Someone inevitably come by her and says, "Calm down..."

Is that really the only instance we need to calm down? How calm is calm? A karaoke singer? An office worker? A pedestrian? A cook? An artist? Or tai chi practitioner? Or a meditator?

Intensity (or lightness) of calm is meaningless without evaluating its reasons. I have a Chinese calligraphy at home. The four words are 宁静致远. It means "A calm man sees far." I believed its a missing piece within the western philosophy, that calmness is an important value for a matured and useful man. A man running around not knowing what he's doing, has little value to the society, and can even bring harm. However, I cannot discuss about calmness anymore from western standpoint due to lack of references.

In Buddhist meditation, calmness is developed in order to see things with clarity. There is a description for the level of calm one ought to attain, but not beyond. For any calmer, one looses the ability to contemplate, but rather indulge in a long period of mindless bliss. Buddhists called it the 4th dyana (or concentration). At 4th dyana, the state of mind is known as equanimity. Meaning one is able to see things as equal without biases. Thus one see things as they are.

Seeing things as they are is one of the most valuable principle in our life. Seeing yourself terminated at your job, and seeing it as it is, you see that you are incompatible with that job or the colleagues, and you may even see it coming. You would take it easy and go off gracefully. Everyone will be happy. In fact, seeing things as it is, you may not even take up the job in the first place, and may have found your ideal job.

Developing calm should be a lifelong preoccupation. 4th dyana is for meditators only. Without the help of meditation, there would be no limit of calmness in our daily activity. You should be as calm as you can be.

Here comes another problem. Is calmness = inactivity? If so, we cannot exercise or work furiously in the midst of calm, yet we need to do these in different situation. So what shall we do? I do not intent to answer these questions here at this point. So this is for you to contemplate, calmly.

More on Minister's pay hike

2007-04-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

The prime minister’s press secretary said Lee’s decision to freeze his salary was not a response to opposition to the salary hike.
“The fact is it was a decision taken up front even before the announcements of pay revision,” Chen Hwai Liang told AFP.

http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2007/apr/13/yehey/opinion/20070413opi6.html

'Decision taken up front even before the announcements of pay revision (was made)' sounds familiar. Didn't they say that when PAP increase the GST by 2% point after the election? Don't think 'wayward,' that is to cover our 'R&D expenses,' not for the salary increase.

both Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong and Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew who earned $2.7 million each last year, will now get paid $3.04 million each.
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/269330/1/.html

I don't understand why Goh and Lee are still getting paid. Aren't they have stepped down? Freelancing from home?

A nation is judge by its Prowess versus Conduct, rather than just its Conduct.

2007-04-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

The US is perceived by many as an international bully, a modern day imperial power. At this critical moment in history, Washington correspondent Justin Webb challenges that idea ... ...

"A pattern was emerging and has never seriously been altered. A pattern of willingness to condemn America for the tiniest indiscretion - or to magnify those indiscretions - while leaving the murderers, dictators, and thieves who run other nations oddly untouched." -- Washington correspondent Justin Webb comments citing the example of what his mom thought of Americahttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6547881.stm

I do not think I would agree with Justin. This argument stands at face value, but not when considering the effects of American prowess. I do not think his mom cites American as an outlaw has anything to do with whether America stood out as the worst of all 'murderers, dictators, and thieves.' Rather, it has to do with the proportion of Prowess versus Conduct. While there are worse 'murderers, dictators, and thieves,' they also have less prowess to influence the world. Many large countries can easily crash these rouges if they in fact act indiscriminately. An example is Afghanistan. However, America prowess if beyond any single nation to control. Its bad conduct in the recent years is certainly unsettling.

Singapore PM's salary stuns White House official

2007-04-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

A senior White House official on Tuesday admitted he was floored by the news that Singapore's prime minister earned five times more than US President George W. Bush.
"I'm going to emigrate and run for office in Singapore," the official said on condition he be identified only as "a senior administration official who sits in disbelief after reading that story."
On Monday, the Singapore government had announced a fresh 25.5 percent pay hike for Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, boosting his salary to 2.05 million dollars per year.
Bush gets paid 400,000 dollars per year for doing his job, according to the White House.
Combined with personal investment income, he and his wife Laura reported 618,694 dollars in taxable income in the 2005 fiscal year. They had to pay 187,768 dollars in federal taxes.
But maybe Bush shouldn't feel so bad. The Singaporean's paycheck is eight times fatter than Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's.
http://www.france24.com/france24Public/en/administration/afp-news.html?id=070410224859.y9p7eriw&cat=null

Playing too much WOW?

2007-04-05T17:53:00.000-07:00

Here's what posted on http://wow.allakhazam.com/ today.

How do you know you have been playing too much World of Warcraft?
You drive past a police car and wonder if you aggroed it.

"Aggro" is a term used in MMORPG’s to denote that a monster has or will become hostile towards a PC. Each creature has a specified Aggro Range/Radius. If you enter within that range, the creature will attack you. "Aggro" can also mean you are the focus of a monster’s attention/attacks, ie: "I have aggro!" http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/?id=agm01076p

The Wisest of Wise Acts Like a Fool

2007-04-03T15:08:00.001-07:00

How does one reacts, when he sees the world as it truly is, beyond control, complex as it is, and where things are presented to one often not by choice but by luck. How does one face the future and what does one strive for, when one sees his own actions as futile, and has little influence on the state of the world?

In ancient China, during the warring era, there was a very famous strategist, Gui Guzi (Sage of the Ghost Valley). He had cultivated two disciples, Su Qin and Zhang Yi, both equally capable. In those days, there are seven great nations. Qin was the strongest and the other six were becoming weaken due to weak leadership. Su Qin and Zhang Yi were about to make their mark within these seven nations. Su Qin, being rejected at Qin, worked for the other six nations, laying out a brillant plan and convinced the six nation to unite against the Qin. Qin was terrified. Using this opportunity, Zhang Yi presents himself to them and presented the strategy of disintegrating the alliance. Zhang Yi was welcomed into Qin and became the Premiere. Under Zhang Yi's diplomatic brilliance taking advantage of the Six Nations' weaknesses, the alliance was broken. Qin united China years after.

Is Zhang Yi better than Su Qin? Without Su Qin's success, Qin will not use Zhang Yi. Without Su Qin's brillance, Zhang Yi has no place to show his brilliance. In fact, once Su Qin failed, Zhang Yi did not keep his place for very long. If Qin had accepted Su Qin in the first place, Su Qin would be the one becoming the Premiere, and Zhang Yi would have to work for the other six nations. What is brilliance and what is luck?

Knowing this, the wise may live out his days knowing that chaos and dependency is the rule of the world, knowing that they also being beautiful surprises, and be weary of the not so pleasant things.

Caring but not too much

2007-04-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

We often care about the work we do, and whether it will be successful. A lesson I learnt is:

How we usually thinks:
Work hard --> Issues --> Work harder --> Success --> Happiness

What usually happens:
Work hard --> Issues --> Work harder --> More issues --> Resolution --> Politics --> Hopelessness --> Complains --> What a mess --> Report out --> Close an eye --> Phew... what a year --> Can we write a nice paper on this?

Often the more we care, issues and political issues may turn stronger on us. Time, patience, and indifference may work better in many cases.

1. Care, but be mindful that each individual can only do so much.
2. Care, but be mindful that you need to convince many, which will delay the process by years.
3. Care, but be mindful that others may have hidden intentions.
4. Care, but be mindful that you may not be right.
5. Care, but take one step at a time. Be weary you may step on other people's toes.
6. Care, but act as if you can let go anytime.
7. Care, but care about people as well. We are human after all.

Why work?

2007-04-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

Work can drive one crazy. The more you work, the more you inculcate the values of efficiency, effectiveness, and competitiveness. These values subconsciously get used in other parts of your life - your holidays, weekends, and evenings. Either we keep two alternate values in life, one for work, one for off-work, or we need to find something more encompassing.

The value of life, according to Chinese, is harmony with everything, and in that we need to be selfless. Selflessness is a way we conduct, not referencing just to the self, but to everything within the ecology - the people, the plant, the environment.

Its easy to say, hard to accomplish. What's one's dream, when one do not reference that only to him? Where can you go to pursue it when everyone is hoping you could stay? How does the self function when it cannot be found?

However, selflessness does not mean no self. The self is part of the ecology. And every decision made has to also consider this self. When a decision has to be made, which result is good for the self, and does no harm to the ecology, it does not defy the principles of selflessness.

At work, act selflessly. At home, act selflessly. Then we become in harmony with the environment.

(Have I achieved it? No! This is my encouragement to myself.)

Thinking perfectly and acting perfectly

2007-03-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

I am someone who thinks rather deeply and thoroughly. However, I believed there are issues with this. Often, I would go too deep and figured out what is the best situation to be. However, people may not be ready to accept changes you like to propose. Thinking perfectly is often, in reality, painful and ironical.

Acting perfectly, on the other hand, is a virtue I would like to learn. Meaning I would act according to the constraints in the real world. I would know so and so has some goals in mind, and would not sway for anyone. I would know he cannot be brush aside. And so I would make a detour and leave him doing his ways. World remain imperfect, problems remain unsolved, some people still suffer, but this is to act perfectly.

The dumb+selfless and intelligent+selfish.

2007-03-17T16:08:00.000-07:00

I realize both dumb and selfless, and intelligent and selfish can in fact be effective.

When one is dumb, be selfless:
1. When one is dumb, you need others to help you think, and the best way is to be nice to others so that they will accept you into their team.
2. Being selfless makes a lot of friends. You will assure your continual existence.
3. While dumb for now, one will not be dumb forever. Its just a slow start. Learn slow and steady, and being nice will buy you time.

When one is intelligent and chose to be selfish:
1. A selfish but intelligent person can be bought. They can still be made to work on the right things.
2. An intelligent person, no matter what they do, will not choose to break the laws and be caught. They can still be governed.
3. When properly encouraged, will go about removing evil in an organization and become the evil himself. So that one day, he too may be removed.

Sleepless in Toronto

2007-03-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have been staying awake for long hours every night for the past 3 days. I think i clock average 4 hours per night. I am surprised I can still manage to conduct interviews.

Seated on bed bed, covered by quilt quilt, looking up the greyish blue sky, I knew neither day nor night.

Meditate with your battocks.

2007-03-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

Most people do not understand meditation. Its not surprising. Meditation cannot be explained, it has to be experienced.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he asked, what do you do when you meditate? He asked if its just sitting motionlessly. I say its very hard to explain, but when you sit, its not with your battocks. When meditating, its your mind that is sitting. You can meditate while eating, walking, working, as long as your mind is sitting.

I think he probably still don't understand. I know, its difficult.

Humbugs of doing a PhD

2007-03-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

Humbug: something designed to deceive and mislead

I received the offer letter for PhD and I am experiencing some heartache over the salary. Its not easy because years in life accumulated a lot of knowledge humbugs that some may be quite emotional. Here a list:

(1) Money humbug. The percentage decrease in salary is astronomical. I can no longer buy branded apparels for my wife. In exchange, I have to relearn the beauty of nature, pluck flowers instead of buying one, picking the pearl-like dew on a morning leaf instead of the real pearl, and revising how to make handicrafts. Sweet talks maybe cheap and effective.

(2) Food humbug. Food in USA is terrible and expensive. Imagine bad taste Chinese food for USD$6-7. We have the best in the country for SGD$2-3. Not to mention that food stalls close at 7pm, not open until 11am. Serving in slow, waiters impolite, and there are miles away from your home. In exchange, I get to recall how I cook and maybe a chance to learn to appreciate the mild and elegant tea.

(3) Durian humbug. No durian!?! No king of fruits! and chiku, rambutan, longan, water melon, coconut, ... I don't know what to make of this. Sob.

(4) House humbug. So far, everyone likes my house. Its high with a good view of downtown Singapore, cooling, quiet yet near the town center, nice neighbors, close to parks, lots of hawker food, well furnished, media center + surround sound system, 150sqm area, lots of paintings, and very quiet Mitsibushi A/C! But Lin Yutang says, "the rich and busy requires a small garden right behind his house, but the poor has a fenceless garden that covers all that he can see." I have to learn to appreciate beauty in the surrounding beyond the artificial, and make the universe my home.

Four humbugs? Not too many... I would like to think of becoming a poor PhD student as a wise Chinese official who resigned his riches and becoming a vagabond. He who want to discover Tao has to give up the world possessions! Its fun to think that way. In fact, whether one is a wise vagabond or just a begger much depends on the motivation of renunciation. Knowledge is mercurial, however, deepening of a character goes a long way.

About Doing a PhD

2007-02-28T01:04:00.000-08:00

I finally received word that I have been accepted by UCI (University of California, Irvine). Professor is Bonnie Nardi. It was so exciting to know that I now have a formal opportunity to work with her.

It was a strange feeling of excitement coupled with the same uncertainty when I first left Singapore for the Internship. I was prepared for the worst but the experience turns out very good. Now that this is my 4th year of my professional career, done stuffs, and know lots of good colleagues, it feels like time to move on. Actions become repetitive, and work becomes political. I am happy to go back to University and return to the pursuit for knowledge and personal growth. In fact, good things about my days as a Master student returns to me.

However, since I returned to Singapore, I saw good about the city. It was a clean place, with stable environment and cheap food thrills. There is nothing exciting about the city, so I heard of any great cities such as Zurich. Its too safe to be. But stability allows your mind to settle and movement become harmonize. You can 'rot' if you like, acting in a harmonic motion, day after day. Friends, family, and the usual hawker fare will always be there.

Then why would I want to go? I think I am suited for academic research, and occasionally helping commercial companies in meaningful applications. Doing commercial all day long? I am not sure if I have the taste for more politics than I encounter now. I think constant fighting with people obscure the mind and one is more useful staying happy and focus. Not doing commercial at all? Confucius forbids. Why write papers without putting it to use?

Facts supporting the idlist.

2007-02-27T16:35:00.000-08:00

I have been suspecting that an advanced society would be appreciative of the existence of idlists. An article in newsweek just pointed out the problem of being too busy.

At 46, Philip Burguières was running a Fortune 500 company, traveling constantly and meeting with shareholders, when, in the middle of a staff meeting on a Tuesday afternoon, he suddenly collapsed. Doctors diagnosed him with depression and encouraged him to leave his high-stress job. But after a short hospital stay, he was back in the game and by the following year was running Weatherford International, an energy-services company with $3 billion in revenues. The pressure became unbearable, and in 1996 he once again took a medical leave. "The second one was a grade-A, level-10, atomic-bomb depression," he says. In his darkest moments, he was certain the world would be better off without him, but even then, he felt enormous pressure to succeed. "I want out, but am stuck because I have never quit anything in my life," he wrote in a hospital diary. Strengthened by counseling and a friendship with a similarly depressed CEO, Burguières attained what he describes as a "full recovery" and stepped down as CEO. He found new work running a family investment company and as vice chairman of the NFL's Houston Texans, positions that permit him to delegate more responsibility and have more fun. He also found that helping other people was the best way for him to get better, and since 1998, he has been privately counseling the numerous depressed CEOs who seek him out. "You get outside yourself; you don't obsess on your own issues," he says.

I think the idlist attitude has a role to play here. If we remember how to idle, to pay attention to the wind, our friends, and the flowers, we would never become too busy and always maintain an appreciation for pleasure. And we are able to realize the fullest potential our civilization as to offer.

The crazily busy and the ideal idlist.

2007-02-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

One of our favorite question on meeting someone is, "How's your work?" The favorite answer is, "Oh... so busy." Being busy is a fashionable label anyone pursuing success should try to attain. This is nonetheless crazy from any humane standpoint. What has being busy anything to do with success?

I came across a very successful person's blog, it was a case of a crazily busy:

"When we started our vacation last week, I was pretty sure that vacations are generally not a good idea.
... I use the term "we" with some caution. We - that is, my husband and I - have never really been a "we" in the sense of those old stories, movies, TV shows. ... We argue too much, sleep too much, eat too much, and worry about what's going wrong at home, what's going wrong with our kids and our jobs, what's going wrong with our vacation. We have unrealistic hopes and unreasonable desires. We can't talk about work. We can't talk about the kids. We can't talk about "someday" - that occupied us well in our forties, but no longer - it's just too scary. I find myself secretly wishing we were at home, tending the flowers and getting work done.
... Lately two daughters and I went to see Kate Mullgrew as Katharine Hepburn in "Tea at Five." In the play, Kate comes to the realization that work was the way she always survived her difficulties. I ponder what work means to me. True, work can make a person happy - when one loves one's work; when one knows what one's work is; when one has measurable outcomes - even if only in the coin of personal pleasure. But work does not necessarily make life meaningful. When the time needed to get one's work done exceeds the time available, meaningfulness slips appallingly away.
... after a week of vacation, it's going to be even harder to climb back into my working shoes. I am cynical about the possibility of experiencing "renewal" in seven days and dreading the moment when I have to climb the mountain of email that will pile up in my short absence.
... This is my last rant for a while. I've got to get some work done so I can take another vacation."

While working in America, I am suspicious that life of all successful are not so successful. Meaning that behind their job success, their life were somehow affected. Some 'wise' consultant said, "If you put in 10% more effort than your peers, you will rip 50% more returns." But these 10% efforts come from time you would spend with your bare consciousness, so that at the end of the day, we remember who we are, where we come from, and for what purpose we are here? I am not talking about deep philosophies. I am saying that when shopping with a friend, we know we come from our house, came shopping with this person, and pay attention to her ranting. In the end, we learn more about her and she felt satisfied having a friend like us.

An ideal idlist would work in a different way. In order to keep our consciousness clear, open, and sharp, we need to keep it happy. She would work when she likes to work, take a sip when she likes, walk when she likes, rest when she likes, and return to work when she likes. There is no burden in her mind when she works, because that is what she wants to do.

However the problem an ideal idlist faced was the 8 hours work day and 40 hours work week. Following an ideal lifestyle, the idlist may wake up at 10am, worked until 4pm, and felt the need to take a walk to find out what everyone else were up to. He walked down the shopping strip and explore the surrounding. People ranting along the street, cars engine, discount posters along the malls' windows, and a long queue formed up from a bank teller machine. He is happily observing the business of others and it becomes much more important than the work he is doing. Such idlist may return to work at 8pm when he remembered an important email that he needs to write, or upon having a creative idea while bathing.

In a world of fixed-time working schedule, this idlist works when she's tired of work, unable to work when she needs to work, and unable to do more important things when she needs to. Life becomes upside down and priorities get abandoned. Soon, working hard becomes the only thing she can boast about. When there is no creative ideas or new responsibilities, the best one can do is the respond to old tasks on time on target, and make sure there is no mistakes. Respond to emails, respond to questions, update databases, etc. The next time someone comes by the ask, "How are you doing?"
"Great! Sorry about not responding to you. I am SO busy and flooded with emails."
"How's your work?"
"Oh its great! Enough to keep me busy."

For happiness or happiness itself?

2007-02-21T02:14:00.000-08:00

There are many books on happiness. Generally it goes like: The key to happiness is to be ... ... . On the surface it looks fine. But every description requires an opposite side to stand. Its thus also implying: You are not happy unless you ... ... .

Thus every HOW of happiness imply some kind of unpleasantness.

I prefer some expressions of happiness itself. Here's one:

This morning I woke up a five after a very sound sleep and listened to a most gorgeous feast of sounds. What woke me up were the factory whistles of a great variety of pitch and force. After a while, I heard a distant clatter of horse's hoofs; it must have been cavalry passing down Yuyuen Road; and in that quiet dawn it gave me more aesthetic delight than a Brahms symphony. Then came a few early chirps from some kind of birds. I am sorry I am not proficient in birdlore, but I enjoyed them all the same. Lin Yutang in The Importance of Living

Learning to loaf, again.

2007-02-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

Despite all the great things I have learned from America, something that I have unlearned is the art of loafing. To loaf, one must walk life with the objective of enjoying the walk in itself. However, American life is so full of actions that every moment is a planning to succeed. Planning to succeed itself, is to admit that one has not and so will need to put in more effort. So many days and weeks and months, one keeps driving for success. This is probably the essence of why America is so powerful today.

Loafing is different. A loafer is a contented soul who thinks what he has is good enough, at least for now. He is contented enough not to think too much, more than just enjoying the present moment. He smells the fragrant of the trees, caressing wind, pitying the busy passer-bys, and when tired, look for a nice cafe for a sip of ice mocha. He forgets the time, for he need not rush for the another meeting.

括猪头

2007-02-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

在华人的习俗里，过年时，是不可以欠钱的。高利贷想必也希望能把债务澄清好过大财年。今年可能就不比往年难了。因为今年所卖的猪头又多又有过年的气息。想欠债的人被括了之后也会满心欢喜。说不定马上就把债给还清了。

温心有趣的祝福

2007-02-07T02:37:00.000-08:00

大前天举行了婚礼。收到了许多的祝福。大多都言语谨慎，声势高雅。但有一个却让笑得肚子痛，坐不起来。

小两口？或许在我心深处还向往着简单的生活吧。

2 days before wedding.

2007-02-03T05:10:00.000-08:00

Nothing seems to be happening for now. Feels like the quietness before the battle. :)