When not helping is helping.

In life, we have a lot of chance to offer our hand, our time, and our expertise, so that conditions may be improved. But so often, we may be unconsciously making condition worse, rather than what it seems to be.

A group of friends and I organize meditation classes. Target audience are usually Buddhists. These classes used to be free, as Buddhism had been, for the past hundred of years, a religion of the lower class. (It was higher class during Han and Tang Dynasty.) As a result, activities are usually free or staff with volunteers to make up the low income. As this becomes a tradition, Buddhists organizations in Singapore are often found in the poorer parts of Singapore, eg next to the red light districts, in warehouses, and older shopping malls. Also courses are usually free or next to it. We tried conducting $30 camps before and were told off to be uncompassionate. Not to mention our $200 course...

I chanced upon a startup company, who needs expertise in user experience. They told me they are low on budget. A normal study would have cost in the excess of $20k+. As I wanted to make a point that small companies can also benefit, I made an offer of $5k. They were slow on reply and when they return to me, they indicated that they need to lower their budget. So I looked at my schedule and thought there are some free slots. So I ask for a complimentary amount of $1k. They never got back to me until months later, when I was overwhelmed with work...

Sometimes I wonder what we could have done different. Singapore is already an affluent society and people can afford things. $200 courses seem expensive relatively but people are earning in the excess of $2k/mth. It should be cheap considering that a meditation teacher need 10-20 years of training. Besides, free courses are not substainable. Only large monasteries with large prayer groups can generate enough incomes to substain education. If we stop giving free courses, people will stop attending them. But maybe for the start. How about for 3 months, 6 months, and one year? Sooner or later, people who are really keen will come forth, and influence the rests. Then, the culture and perception will change.

I prefer to help the startup as they are really in need. There is no funding, and they can benefit from the work. Too bad that, perhaps they were skeptical of my intention, they were slow to react. Or they were really busy and not ready for help.

The point is that for what I do, I always look for to create a substainable ecology. Where both giver and receiver can substain their activities. I believe neither in free lunches nor over priced services. Give what you can for what you receive. Perhaps the giver can give more people as a result. More people can also receive a goodwill. The market 'price' you set for a service will also support a more vibrant community to appear. As the saying goes "Teach a man to fish, rather than giving him a fish, if he's not that hungry."