Thinking perfectly and acting perfectly

I am someone who thinks rather deeply and thoroughly. However, I believed there are issues with this. Often, I would go too deep and figured out what is the best situation to be. However, people may not be ready to accept changes you like to propose. Thinking perfectly is often, in reality, painful and ironical.

Acting perfectly, on the other hand, is a virtue I would like to learn. Meaning I would act according to the constraints in the real world. I would know so and so has some goals in mind, and would not sway for anyone. I would know he cannot be brush aside. And so I would make a detour and leave him doing his ways. World remain imperfect, problems remain unsolved, some people still suffer, but this is to act perfectly.

The dumb+selfless and intelligent+selfish.

I realize both dumb and selfless, and intelligent and selfish can in fact be effective.

When one is dumb, be selfless:
1. When one is dumb, you need others to help you think, and the best way is to be nice to others so that they will accept you into their team.
2. Being selfless makes a lot of friends. You will assure your continual existence.
3. While dumb for now, one will not be dumb forever. Its just a slow start. Learn slow and steady, and being nice will buy you time.

When one is intelligent and chose to be selfish:
1. A selfish but intelligent person can be bought. They can still be made to work on the right things.
2. An intelligent person, no matter what they do, will not choose to break the laws and be caught. They can still be governed.
3. When properly encouraged, will go about removing evil in an organization and become the evil himself. So that one day, he too may be removed.

Sleepless in Toronto

I have been staying awake for long hours every night for the past 3 days. I think i clock average 4 hours per night. I am surprised I can still manage to conduct interviews.

Seated on bed bed, covered by quilt quilt, looking up the greyish blue sky, I knew neither day nor night.

Meditate with your battocks.

Most people do not understand meditation. Its not surprising. Meditation cannot be explained, it has to be experienced.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he asked, what do you do when you meditate? He asked if its just sitting motionlessly. I say its very hard to explain, but when you sit, its not with your battocks. When meditating, its your mind that is sitting. You can meditate while eating, walking, working, as long as your mind is sitting.

I think he probably still don't understand. I know, its difficult.

Humbugs of doing a PhD

Humbug: something designed to deceive and mislead

I received the offer letter for PhD and I am experiencing some heartache over the salary. Its not easy because years in life accumulated a lot of knowledge humbugs that some may be quite emotional. Here a list:

(1) Money humbug. The percentage decrease in salary is astronomical. I can no longer buy branded apparels for my wife. In exchange, I have to relearn the beauty of nature, pluck flowers instead of buying one, picking the pearl-like dew on a morning leaf instead of the real pearl, and revising how to make handicrafts. Sweet talks maybe cheap and effective.

(2) Food humbug. Food in USA is terrible and expensive. Imagine bad taste Chinese food for USD$6-7. We have the best in the country for SGD$2-3. Not to mention that food stalls close at 7pm, not open until 11am. Serving in slow, waiters impolite, and there are miles away from your home. In exchange, I get to recall how I cook and maybe a chance to learn to appreciate the mild and elegant tea.

(3) Durian humbug. No durian!?! No king of fruits! and chiku, rambutan, longan, water melon, coconut, ... I don't know what to make of this. Sob.

(4) House humbug. So far, everyone likes my house. Its high with a good view of downtown Singapore, cooling, quiet yet near the town center, nice neighbors, close to parks, lots of hawker food, well furnished, media center + surround sound system, 150sqm area, lots of paintings, and very quiet Mitsibushi A/C! But Lin Yutang says, "the rich and busy requires a small garden right behind his house, but the poor has a fenceless garden that covers all that he can see." I have to learn to appreciate beauty in the surrounding beyond the artificial, and make the universe my home.

Four humbugs? Not too many... I would like to think of becoming a poor PhD student as a wise Chinese official who resigned his riches and becoming a vagabond. He who want to discover Tao has to give up the world possessions! Its fun to think that way. In fact, whether one is a wise vagabond or just a begger much depends on the motivation of renunciation. Knowledge is mercurial, however, deepening of a character goes a long way.