Only when you are doing a vegetarian dinner do you realize how important is meat to Chinese.
For without meat:
1. Some refused to come.
2. Some rather seat out of sight and enjoy meat.
3. Some consume lots of meat before or after they come.
4. Some ask us to change the location to the void deck.
5. Some want to end our relationships.
You know you have a good friend when:
1. He says he don't know why you are eating vege but he will come anyway.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Blabbing about life -- Meaning of work
Work has taken a center stage for life from 20-60, with some variations. To some, they said, life is work. Well then how do these people account for life before 20 and life after the body cannot work anymore? Is life meaningless in those years?
No one can oppose the fact that basis of work is livelihood. Livelihood is the basis of survival. Many thousand years ago, work for men is hunting and women gathering. Its now more complicated with many professions to choose from. But none has differed from the original goal. But as the basic goal is achieve, people developed sub-goals, such as becoming somebody or becoming rich. Doing good work, on top of just work, is a fuel for achievements throughout ones life.
Work may also be expanded to mean other things that are indirectly related to livelihood. For a housewife, work is to care for the young, the old, and the breadwinner. For a missionary, work is to educate the public to lead a better life. These work may not seem to produce anything useful, yet they support the work of the direct contributors. Similarly, some proper professions such as politicians, entertainers, and philosophers do not really produce anything useful, yet society needs them for maintaining a good spirit for proper governance.
Work is really something that defines ourselves in a society. In any cities, anyone contributes to everyone else. One that does no work is breaking an unsaid rule and frowned upon. Beggers are never a pretty sight and they are symbols of city deterioration. Making oneself useful is to find a place for oneself, and to make ones life meaningful.
So said, what does a child or older person do that is work? The work for a child is to learn, is to bring hope for the society, and to bring joy to the older adults. A child that does not learn, does not pay attend to his future, and non friendly, is again breaking an unsaid rule and frowned upon. A
n older adult is a symbol of success and glorious past. A country without the old is one without a memory. Wise olds are the cornerstone of any society, and they are always remembered and recalled in times of hardship and difficulties. Their work is thus to preserve their past, educate the young, and maintaining the integrity of the society. Only older people with success in the past can age wholesomely. Older adults who brought harm to the society in the past will find it hard to redeem their deeds.
Therefore, everybody has to work. Only that work changes throughout our life. If we do not move on and change our behavior to fit the situation, we will be out of place within the society. Work hard everyone, but don't remember to maintain a reasonable spirit!
No one can oppose the fact that basis of work is livelihood. Livelihood is the basis of survival. Many thousand years ago, work for men is hunting and women gathering. Its now more complicated with many professions to choose from. But none has differed from the original goal. But as the basic goal is achieve, people developed sub-goals, such as becoming somebody or becoming rich. Doing good work, on top of just work, is a fuel for achievements throughout ones life.
Work may also be expanded to mean other things that are indirectly related to livelihood. For a housewife, work is to care for the young, the old, and the breadwinner. For a missionary, work is to educate the public to lead a better life. These work may not seem to produce anything useful, yet they support the work of the direct contributors. Similarly, some proper professions such as politicians, entertainers, and philosophers do not really produce anything useful, yet society needs them for maintaining a good spirit for proper governance.
Work is really something that defines ourselves in a society. In any cities, anyone contributes to everyone else. One that does no work is breaking an unsaid rule and frowned upon. Beggers are never a pretty sight and they are symbols of city deterioration. Making oneself useful is to find a place for oneself, and to make ones life meaningful.
So said, what does a child or older person do that is work? The work for a child is to learn, is to bring hope for the society, and to bring joy to the older adults. A child that does not learn, does not pay attend to his future, and non friendly, is again breaking an unsaid rule and frowned upon. A
n older adult is a symbol of success and glorious past. A country without the old is one without a memory. Wise olds are the cornerstone of any society, and they are always remembered and recalled in times of hardship and difficulties. Their work is thus to preserve their past, educate the young, and maintaining the integrity of the society. Only older people with success in the past can age wholesomely. Older adults who brought harm to the society in the past will find it hard to redeem their deeds.
Therefore, everybody has to work. Only that work changes throughout our life. If we do not move on and change our behavior to fit the situation, we will be out of place within the society. Work hard everyone, but don't remember to maintain a reasonable spirit!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Blabbing about life
I intended for this to be the first of many blogs blabbing about life. It has been a long time that I was buried in work and few of these occupy much of my tiny brain. Yet, thanks for a period of less work and lots of private time, my brain is again generating thoughts around life.
Whenever I felt quiet and peaceful, I will feel a sense of irony about life. When one is busy with responsibilities, one felt invincible. Good times look like going to last forever. When one is peaceful and facing with reality, one is happy but also further sighted. Life had undergone many changes through the years of growing up, and will still undergo more changes. There will be ups and downs. At the inevitable deterioration of 70s, life will slowly creep to an end. One starts questioning, what is the purpose of pursuits in fame, richness, and material happiness?
I am not an opponent of materialism, rather I believe materialism is important to us. Yet, I am not a supporter of materialism, for I think we can ideally do without materialsm. Materialsm makes the world prosper, yet at the same time, set the world on inevitable decay of the mind and spirit. In everything, reasonableness rules. Only when people are reasonable can be swim freely and surf harmlessly in the sea of life. The reasonable spirit is not carved in stone. Its a decision making ability created our of both rationale consideration and emotional feelings for others. When I decide to work at Starbucks when I am sick of my home, I am being reasonable. When I decide to push myself to the edge so that I can do 120% work every month, I am unreasonable. Reasonable spirit sustain ourselves and our mental state. It also helps make other people's life better.
The problem in life is its too hard to be reasonable all the time. We get consumed by work and care more about the words we submit to our boss and clients than the sun, sand, sea, and creatures around us. After being bitten by other horrid creatures like the crook salespeople, we can begin to care more about ourselves. Being reasonable takes a reasonable state of mind, which is hard to achieve.
Having reasonable spirits guaranteed good times ahead. However, good times will come to pass and death await at the end of the tunnel. Good for those who hated life that suffering will end. But for whom who love life what is in for them? Shrug. A saying in Chinese goes, "Ren ruo jiang si qi yan yi san." It means a dying man speaks kindly. This shows when a man looses all pursuit, his kindness is revealed. If life will end is not so important if everyone has the same nature. For this nature live on in others on our passing. If we act according to this nature, then we strength human life in accordance to what we live to become.
... to be continued.
Whenever I felt quiet and peaceful, I will feel a sense of irony about life. When one is busy with responsibilities, one felt invincible. Good times look like going to last forever. When one is peaceful and facing with reality, one is happy but also further sighted. Life had undergone many changes through the years of growing up, and will still undergo more changes. There will be ups and downs. At the inevitable deterioration of 70s, life will slowly creep to an end. One starts questioning, what is the purpose of pursuits in fame, richness, and material happiness?
I am not an opponent of materialism, rather I believe materialism is important to us. Yet, I am not a supporter of materialism, for I think we can ideally do without materialsm. Materialsm makes the world prosper, yet at the same time, set the world on inevitable decay of the mind and spirit. In everything, reasonableness rules. Only when people are reasonable can be swim freely and surf harmlessly in the sea of life. The reasonable spirit is not carved in stone. Its a decision making ability created our of both rationale consideration and emotional feelings for others. When I decide to work at Starbucks when I am sick of my home, I am being reasonable. When I decide to push myself to the edge so that I can do 120% work every month, I am unreasonable. Reasonable spirit sustain ourselves and our mental state. It also helps make other people's life better.
The problem in life is its too hard to be reasonable all the time. We get consumed by work and care more about the words we submit to our boss and clients than the sun, sand, sea, and creatures around us. After being bitten by other horrid creatures like the crook salespeople, we can begin to care more about ourselves. Being reasonable takes a reasonable state of mind, which is hard to achieve.
Having reasonable spirits guaranteed good times ahead. However, good times will come to pass and death await at the end of the tunnel. Good for those who hated life that suffering will end. But for whom who love life what is in for them? Shrug. A saying in Chinese goes, "Ren ruo jiang si qi yan yi san." It means a dying man speaks kindly. This shows when a man looses all pursuit, his kindness is revealed. If life will end is not so important if everyone has the same nature. For this nature live on in others on our passing. If we act according to this nature, then we strength human life in accordance to what we live to become.
... to be continued.
I am because I am not
Over my many years of aging, I realize something interesting.
1. He who said he is reasonable is unreasonable.
2. He who said he is simple is not simple.
3. He who said he is ambitious has not think through life very much.
4. He who thinks others are selfish is selfish himself.
5. Merchants who said his goods are cheap is selling expensively.
6. He who claims his things are cheap spent more unnecessary money.
7. He who thinks he is unfortunate overlooked many blessings.
Alternatively:
1. He who says he is stupid is not stupid.
2. He who says he is selfish is thinking for others.
3. He who thinks he is selling too expensively is selling reasonably.
4. He who thinks he is lazy is working hard.
5. He who makes the world go round does not think he is the king.
6. He who love life don't care about life too much.
7. He who is successful didn't realize it himself.
Why the contradiction? I do not claim to know. But when we said we are, we are contemplating the relativity of our actions to others, and the consequences. When we saw ourselves as already positive, we have reached the pinnacle of improvements and will become stagnant of even deteriorate. When we saw ourselves as bad, we see the opportunities to improve and will make the change.
When we are focus on opportunities and stop comparing ourselves to others, we already has confident above the rests and start thinking beyond conventional wisdom. Such person will achieve true greatness.
1. He who said he is reasonable is unreasonable.
2. He who said he is simple is not simple.
3. He who said he is ambitious has not think through life very much.
4. He who thinks others are selfish is selfish himself.
5. Merchants who said his goods are cheap is selling expensively.
6. He who claims his things are cheap spent more unnecessary money.
7. He who thinks he is unfortunate overlooked many blessings.
Alternatively:
1. He who says he is stupid is not stupid.
2. He who says he is selfish is thinking for others.
3. He who thinks he is selling too expensively is selling reasonably.
4. He who thinks he is lazy is working hard.
5. He who makes the world go round does not think he is the king.
6. He who love life don't care about life too much.
7. He who is successful didn't realize it himself.
Why the contradiction? I do not claim to know. But when we said we are, we are contemplating the relativity of our actions to others, and the consequences. When we saw ourselves as already positive, we have reached the pinnacle of improvements and will become stagnant of even deteriorate. When we saw ourselves as bad, we see the opportunities to improve and will make the change.
When we are focus on opportunities and stop comparing ourselves to others, we already has confident above the rests and start thinking beyond conventional wisdom. Such person will achieve true greatness.
A week before the wedding
Wedding is a scary term for many young Chinese. It means a lot of unreasonable customs to follow, a lot of money spent, and a lot of interpersonal conflicts to handle. I have done and been through much of these with only a week left to the real day. And I have learnt many things:
1. He who said he wants things to be simple is not simple.
2. The most unreasonable is also the most domineering.
3. In assimilating two family cultures, the one with the most ancestry quotations triumph.
4. He who said things are cheap spent the most.
5. He who said nothing is not happy.
6. He who care about you has nothing to ask for, and probably said little, and will be there when first ask.
7. Best friends said they will be there, and if you need help.
8. Acquaintances said they need to check.
9. Good acquaintances said congrats, but they still have to check.
10. Bad acquaintances said they will be coming, then you hear no more.
11. Good relatives said congrats and looks happy for you.
12. Normal relatives ask where it is, what food it is, and if you have done this and that, but is not going to help you do it.
13. Bad relatives ask if you are going to get married at the void deck and if you are giving thousand of dollars, and doing acrobats on the wedding day.
14. Everyone has wedding fantasies, not just the bride.
15. If you ask everyone about their fantasies, you will be overwhlemed now, if you don't ask, you will be overwhelmed later.
One week left. My Emcee has to overshoot his stay in the states and I found another good friend to help me out. All my best friends are going to be my brothers. The tables looked all filled for now but there are still constant dropouts due to work commitments. I have asked my Big Aunt to help my mom out as she looks lost. The food is looking good, wine and flowers have been booked, and photos are ready. I wish that next Tues come quickly so that I get my life back.
1. He who said he wants things to be simple is not simple.
2. The most unreasonable is also the most domineering.
3. In assimilating two family cultures, the one with the most ancestry quotations triumph.
4. He who said things are cheap spent the most.
5. He who said nothing is not happy.
6. He who care about you has nothing to ask for, and probably said little, and will be there when first ask.
7. Best friends said they will be there, and if you need help.
8. Acquaintances said they need to check.
9. Good acquaintances said congrats, but they still have to check.
10. Bad acquaintances said they will be coming, then you hear no more.
11. Good relatives said congrats and looks happy for you.
12. Normal relatives ask where it is, what food it is, and if you have done this and that, but is not going to help you do it.
13. Bad relatives ask if you are going to get married at the void deck and if you are giving thousand of dollars, and doing acrobats on the wedding day.
14. Everyone has wedding fantasies, not just the bride.
15. If you ask everyone about their fantasies, you will be overwhlemed now, if you don't ask, you will be overwhelmed later.
One week left. My Emcee has to overshoot his stay in the states and I found another good friend to help me out. All my best friends are going to be my brothers. The tables looked all filled for now but there are still constant dropouts due to work commitments. I have asked my Big Aunt to help my mom out as she looks lost. The food is looking good, wine and flowers have been booked, and photos are ready. I wish that next Tues come quickly so that I get my life back.
How wedding evolved?
Many tens of thousand years ago, people were hunting and gathering resources. As resources deplete, people have to move on. When two factions meet, I would imagine they clashed. The fittest will survive, and the egoistic males of loosing faction will be killed. The submissive females will survive and be assimilated. I assumed this was the family life of out ancestors.
I can imagine how difficult is it for all the nomadic tribes to assimilate to form cities. Somewhere down the road, hunter gatherers started to explore ways of growing their own food. I assume these will be simple to grow plants like bean sprouts. They still move on, but carrying seeds with them to another spot. When agriculture became more advance and substainable, they learnt that farming is more productive than hunting. However, everyone is settling at the same spot, near rivers! Tribes fought and at some point they learnt to live together. But the instinct caring for in-group probably persisted, leading to rules and laws being passed to prevent groups from clashing. In any labor intensive work such as agriculture, it must be a great lost if one of your member is married into another group. Therefore, some form of compensation was formulated to trade off the imbalance, and that is the ping4 jing4 (or proposing money). The married woman probably felt a lot of pain to move into another unfamiliar family, many probably ran off at some point, leading to more conflicts. Thus evolved the custom of beating the wife on her first day so that she would submit. On the other side, her family would miss her, thus evolved the tradition to returning to niang2 jia1 (woman's home) after a while. In between, there were traditions of exchanges of gifts to establish goodwill.
There are many others but I would like to stop blabbing, the point is ... I am feeling all these traditions are out of touch. Its so tiring to do things for the sake of it, especially you won't know what to do by reasonableness, except to ask. Our life and priority changes, and many customs were out of date. We need to evolve new customs to fit the modern world. Its time to change...
I can imagine how difficult is it for all the nomadic tribes to assimilate to form cities. Somewhere down the road, hunter gatherers started to explore ways of growing their own food. I assume these will be simple to grow plants like bean sprouts. They still move on, but carrying seeds with them to another spot. When agriculture became more advance and substainable, they learnt that farming is more productive than hunting. However, everyone is settling at the same spot, near rivers! Tribes fought and at some point they learnt to live together. But the instinct caring for in-group probably persisted, leading to rules and laws being passed to prevent groups from clashing. In any labor intensive work such as agriculture, it must be a great lost if one of your member is married into another group. Therefore, some form of compensation was formulated to trade off the imbalance, and that is the ping4 jing4 (or proposing money). The married woman probably felt a lot of pain to move into another unfamiliar family, many probably ran off at some point, leading to more conflicts. Thus evolved the custom of beating the wife on her first day so that she would submit. On the other side, her family would miss her, thus evolved the tradition to returning to niang2 jia1 (woman's home) after a while. In between, there were traditions of exchanges of gifts to establish goodwill.
There are many others but I would like to stop blabbing, the point is ... I am feeling all these traditions are out of touch. Its so tiring to do things for the sake of it, especially you won't know what to do by reasonableness, except to ask. Our life and priority changes, and many customs were out of date. We need to evolve new customs to fit the modern world. Its time to change...
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Cultural openness = Intelligence?
In the Tang Dynasty and before, Chinese were open and accepting to multi-culture. Women wear sleeveless and you can see their pale white leg. Somewhere in Song and Ming, the last two dynasties led by Chinese natives, people became very conservative. Slightess immorality can be punishable by death.
I do observed that many successful societies are not conservative. Today we have USA, and in the past Qin Dynasty, Tang Dynasty, Mongols, not sure about Roman and Alexandra, but I am sure they are no where near conservative.
Successful societies seem to be injected with adrenalin of change, uncertainties, and restlessness. People are on the move to make things happen and opportunities abound. When a society become conservative, many laws and regulations control people's movement and thoughts. As such, movement and change slowed. It wasn't a bad thing to enable people to take a break after long period of war or disaster. However, long term effects mean inadaptability. Also converativism also means extreme means of control over the people is required. Law is enforced using culture, not logic, as a foundation, inevitability lead to social tension, I believed the long term effect is non-action and selfishness.
Well, just me theory. :)
I do observed that many successful societies are not conservative. Today we have USA, and in the past Qin Dynasty, Tang Dynasty, Mongols, not sure about Roman and Alexandra, but I am sure they are no where near conservative.
Successful societies seem to be injected with adrenalin of change, uncertainties, and restlessness. People are on the move to make things happen and opportunities abound. When a society become conservative, many laws and regulations control people's movement and thoughts. As such, movement and change slowed. It wasn't a bad thing to enable people to take a break after long period of war or disaster. However, long term effects mean inadaptability. Also converativism also means extreme means of control over the people is required. Law is enforced using culture, not logic, as a foundation, inevitability lead to social tension, I believed the long term effect is non-action and selfishness.
Well, just me theory. :)
To succeed or to be happy?
How many heroes die with regrets, or lead a lonely old age? How many commoners spent a wholesome life, and die in obscurity? What if one knows the ingredient to be successful? Would you like to cook it?
Friday, January 19, 2007
Misfortune befallen
When misfortune befallen the wise, he sighs to himself, and smile to others.
When misfortune befallen the fool, he sighs to himself, and cries to others.
When misfortune befallen the fool, he sighs to himself, and cries to others.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Peace and quiet and infighting
Had a long break since one week before Christmas. All the inner fighting has gone down. Now and then, there are pushes to move and frigid. But those are lesser and such voices are weak.
Peace and quiet. Long lost feelings.
Peace and quiet. Long lost feelings.
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