Behind every successful man is a great (or divorced) wife

There is a famous Chinese saying: "Behind every successful man is a great woman." I assume it meant that to be successful, man often has to put all his energy into that endeavor and sacrifice his time for relationships. Thus the wife have to pull through the initial hardship and handle many issues alone. But today, I looked around me, I cannot differentiate which are the great women. Or maybe my friends are still very young.

However, my observation of working adults is that if you are successful, you must have worked very hard, and you probably have little time for yourself and family (westerners do not live close to their parents thus reducing that burden). Someone who work as hard as anyone else would remain mediocre. It often takes 50% more effort to perform radical changes, but radicalism is the key ingredient for success. Thus, the single remain single, some attached ones broke up and never got the time to attach again. I am not sure if any female today will hang on with a man who is rarely home and don't spend time with his children. I assume the only way out is divorce and live by yourself or find another man. Its the simpler option too.

So comes my theory: "Behind every successful man is a divorced wife."

Wise by laziness

"The busy is never wise and the wise is never busy," Lin Yutang.

I like this phrase, for I am deeply Chinese. How can a wise person torture his body and soul and make himself the slave of work, where he knows that at the end of the day, people will forget about his deed and go on with life. He may become rich but not happy, and there are many willing to take his place and work until their death. How can the wise not sit back and relax, enjoying the sunshine, the breeze, and the tea?

In fact, I think the Chinese is good at doing things with the right effort and no more. We realize that no matter how much you dig into details, you need a lot of experience to get things done. Chinese never dwell too much into geometry, but nevertheless built the great walls and many bridges. We get by many centuries and once or twice became the world's largest economy. Finally, the west pioneered capitalism and everyone can own their business and decide how they want to make a living. This makes useful technologies widespread and enhance the nations productivity leading to a new middle class. Everyone is starting to get wealthy. Some work harder than the others and became very rich. Suddenly the wise seems stupid and full of excuse to be lazy. World is ruled by the busy people. And science is king.

Nonetheless, I still have faith in Lin Yutang. The wise is never busy, but will probably not be very rich.

"That's out of the question!" "Huh?!"

In TOEFL, I was both fascinated and troubled by the fact we have to learn the way American speaks. One question goes:

"
Woman: I think we should see if Jackie will run for class president.
Man: That's out of the question.

Question: What does the man mean?
"

"Out of the question"? Do you mean the question is not valid because Jackie is the best candidate, or Jackie is the worst candidate? Whoever invented the phrase did not indicate polarity of emotions... Its a very badly phrase sentence. And how am I to know if he is happy or sad? We might as well use "Wah lao." (Singlish phrase. In English: My father!)

Re:
1. Its shorter.
2. You know its not pleasant when a parent (or god) were mentioned.

Ruling 4 millions happy singaporeans

This is an objective comment on Singapore.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/offbeat/2006/10/singapore_slings_censorship.html

"From outside, Singapore is a clean respected country with 4 millions happy singaporeans (and i am sure many are), it is probably one of the safest and the most disciplined country in Asia, good education, nice living conditons etc... but heaven on earth might have its own limitations. For having spent many years there, foreigners should know that this country doesn't allow free speech or free demonstration. You can't talk bad about the government (repressed by law) and it is a fact that political opposition merely exists (many opposition leaders went bankrupt out of the sudden after being sued by the government). The Senior Minister Lee (ex prime minister) was in power for nearly 50 years. His son is now ruling the country. The telecom company is controlled by another son, the most powerful investment gov company (Temasek Holdings that bought the USD 1.8B shares of Taksin in Thailand) is controlled by the wife, SMRT (taxi and transportation) is ruled by another relative and the most respected and feared law firm (very useful) is controlled by the Lee clan too. I am not judging but I reckon it is quite a unique situation for a democracy but quite common for an autocracy or a monarchy...
Having said that, many sngaporeans still love their country and admire their system and to some degree I understand their feeling.. as long as they have food and a house, why should they bother about the rest? I understand as well that to many westerners, starving in freedom is more important than eating gracefully in a golden cage.

If I can employ 10 talents in my company.

If I can employ 10 talents in my company:

1. CEO: Han Xing (General QIN 100BC?. Helped Liu Bang to unite China once again. When Liu Bang asked him how many soldier himself can lead, Han Xing said, 100'000. Liu Bang was happy. Liu Bang ask him how many can Han Xing lead, Han Xing said, THE MORE THE MERRIER.

2. COO: SHANG YANG (PREMIER QIN 300BC? Helped Qin grow into the most powerful state through process change and radical changes. See Users of Asia blog.

3. CTO: Eric Schmidt (Google's boss. Talking about getting his company to motivate and start ideas rolling, he's the man.)

4. R&D Director: Akio Morita (Sony's ex-boss and inventor of walkman. Visionary of trends and what's hot what's not. Saw Walkman where nobody else can)

5. Principle Scientist: Leonardo Davinci (Inventor of many ideas that are far ahead of his time)

6. Marketing Director: Steve Jobs. He has the strength to throw an rotting apple to break a window.

7. Managing Director: Peter Drucker. Guru and master of today's management.

8. P.R Director: Bill Clinton. Talking about managing relationships, he's the man. But his office shall has no women.

9. Sales Director: George Bush. If he can sell war, he can sell anything.

10. Cafeteria Management: I hope I can have Fu Shan (Ipoh, Malaysia) Restaurant to open in my company. They cooked the best Tim Sum in the whole world.

Where are all the bright people?

Last night, I heard that a very bright young man YC had become a teacher. Duh... He became a teacher? Teacher has the reputation of a stable, ok pay, and hard work in Singapore. You don't have to be very creative and intelligent, but must be rule abiding, attention to details (especially back stabbing and complains), hardworking, and take things easy (so that you would not suffer from heartaches and anxiety-disorder. But YC?

YC was an intelligent men. He learnt how to crack games when he was in primary 4. In fact, he taught a lot of students from the top school Dunman High. He also taught me so that I can improve my game characters. He played all board games with smart moves and speak with humor, politeness, and wit. He's also good at sports, being one of the school volleyball players. I always thought he would be an exec in a top IT company.

Another friend of mine, a Cambridge Literature Award holder. PK toped literature exam for Cambridge in our year. He came from the top arts class from Serangoon JC but he is one of the smartest folks around us. He's graceful and kind, and strong believer of Christ (not staunch). I played Dungeons and Dragons, which his father who is a pastor, treated as Santanism. PK did not believe so but asked us to tone it down when we visited his house. He spoke to me in tongue once. I am most impressed by his spontaneity and gracefulness in abidding to my request. Tongue in indeed a foreign language (that language of 'god'?). Anyhow, we discussed about many issues in school and even board games, and he never fail to impress. He is also one of the hotest guy without a lack of potential girlfriend. So much that a girl was jealous I spent so much time talking to PK. (Women can be strange). Btw, he became a pastor (PK, please let me know if my information is wrong)

Why did all the smart people become pastor or teacher? Its a strange phenomena. I don't think many of our top students made it to become a nation shaping personality. I wish I know why?

Singapore is a nice city.

On returning to Singapore, after a 2 months absent, I realized my perspectives of the country is changing. Singapore is famous for its strict paternal government who 'will cane anyone who is naughty.' (We canned an American kid for vandalising car. So if you found your kids naughty, consider sending them to Singapore.)

For many years living in this tiny island has developed a routine and outlook of life that is very, eh.... Singaporish. Study hard, score good 'A's, go university, find a big company or government job, get a high pay, sit comfortably signing papers, buy house and get married, have 2 kids, bring them up, and retire and enjoy life. You don't have to be very creative to make an impression on others. People ask you questions as you age, and those questions fall within one of these life 'tasks.' If you decided one day to venture out of this 'workflow' and do something different, e.g. start a business or do an overseas PhD, most aquaintances will be amazed, and some of your close ones will scrutinize your actions. You will have a lot of explanations to do!

This is one major factor why Singapore is not a place for the creative. But its an exceedingly stable and comfortable spot on earth. No surprises, everywhere is clean, and the government will think through all the mishaps that can happen. E.g. recently our government announced they have 'taken all necessary actions in case the smog (from Indonesia forest fire) worsen. E.g. face masks and hospital arrangements.' They are very thoughtful. At first I thought they are going to help put out the fires. But nonetheless, thankyou very much. I hope I don't need your precautionary measures...

Frankly, Singapore is not very ideal for the creative, for the creative is mostly naughty. Bodyshop started out in the garage, but we have no garage, although we may mix these stuffs in the apartment houses. But what if we are caught for cheminal testing? Bill Gates flunk his University. I think if he is Singaporean, his mother will pull him by the ear and ask him to stop dreaming. I wanted to do Political Science and Economics, only to be slotted into Engineering (which is not one of my choice), for my English is REALLY 'BAD.' I tried again for a Master in Political Studies after my Bachelor study. A Singaporish Professor call me into his office and told me, "This area requires a lot of writing, what is your GP score?" and "I am worried after looking at your score." Duh... aren't you be looking for people who can think deeply and rationalize issues? Is it harder to train language or the mind? I wonder what would I be doing now if I was accepted in either one of these instances.

So creative people! Its probably better for you to "Leave the Village Back Facing the Well" (Chinese saying), and go somewhere that can use your creativity. Sorry dear governement, it seems that your creative policy wasn't quite supported by your people. I don't think its a good thing to leave your country. Surely, the adjustment is painful but if you are 'that type of person,' what choices are there? Nonetheless, I want to keep my beautiful house.

Women are beautiful

Women are beautiful creatures. The silky complexion, fine flowing hair, slenderness of the waist, protrusion of the breast, shiny nails, sparkling eyes, and graceful smile are captured in many of human art pieces. Men also featured as art pieces and fashion models, but they are not as captivating and significant. Women had always been a key show case of any society. But they do not get to participate directly within society for a long time. More because they cannot fight to defend themselves when their lost in any verbal arguments. Thanks for strong legal enforcements, settling arguments by fists have been outdated and women with the *flit of tongue is able to argue for themselves. Men thus become less potent than before. Withstanding the enduring barrage of questions and requests for proofs of faithfulness, men ultimately become secondary creatures. While men field the most important positions in the society, women spend the most money. Now who is more powerful now? It has never been a worse time to be a man.

If I get to choose, I would like to have the woman body and their rights. Woman body is the embodiment of beauty and they have a wide variety of clothings and accessories to further that statement. Everything seems beautiful on them. Men, in contrast, have fewer clothing styles to choose from. Even if there are many, nothing elegant seems to fit on the shapeless and barbaric form. Women, in the expression of modern, beauty, and elegance, seem to have advantage in any social situation. When they stand tall on heels, and speak with a comforting maternal sense of care, assurance, and elegance, everyone was captivated. You cannot say no to such a woman.

All good things said about woman, there are parts of the women which I do not want to inherit. More specifically the mind. Woman are compassionate, except when their status was threatened. A woman with the diamond of her promise ring smaller than her closest pal is predictably one with an inbalanced minds. How many times do we need to be careful at what we are talking about when speaking with our friend’s wife or fiancée? Less he comes back to us and say he has to cover for our 'mistongue.' We often avoid talking about salary, honeymoon destinations, and anniversary gifts. Mothers are the kindess people on earth, so say the Chinese. I agree and only when they are mothers.

Men has beautiful minds. One that is simple, straightforward, brotherly, and objective. Without men, food, science, politics, and sports would never be so exciting and fun. Even fashion for women are often designed by men. The men’s mind is one that encompass a wide variety of subjects, almost plague with curiosity and no sense of fear, they men explore, die, and breakthrough by the dozens. If women are the beholder of culture and stability, men are dancing lights of creativity, change, and troublemaking. Without men, society would not be as advance and interesting.


*I would argue that if verbal abuse is judge as harshly as physcial abuse, men and women would be equal in societal standing again.

Free speech

Free speech is not perfect, nor is a draconian government stamping public expressions of ideas. Free speech can be manipulated by eloquent people to motivate millions towards bad ending. Hitler was a fiery speaker who mobilized millions to Nazi movements. Similarly, Bush mobilized millions to fight a meaningless war in Iraq. Anyone who was in touch with International news quickly realized the futility of waging that war. Likewise news network like Fox report news to republican advantages. Ideally, free speech should be used to achieve balanced point of view. But when the voide is laud, they can tilt the balance. As history shows, free speech does not always equate to objective speech.

Draconian government has a stabilizing effects on a country. By removing the freedom of speech, one may only express mundane ideas which have little bearing on the masses. Within bearing, the society become stagnant. This is ok as long as the ruling party has other means of feedback and take an objective stand on any issues, changing as they might need. Sadly, most ruling party grow roots into their seat. Just as a survival instinct of an animal, when threatened with its continuity, it fights. I do not see exception in any government. Also, while collecting views from people quietly, ideas or opinions do not get challenged. An idea from Ah Huay remains as Ah Huay’s idea. Ah Sim does not get to say, “No I don’t think so,” or “I have similar idea which goes like …” Narrow channel of discussion undoubtedly results in recycling of views and slow adaptation.

Draconian society cannot transform into free society totally. It will be suicidal, like Lion trying to jump off cliffs and fly like a bird. Lion has no wings and do not meant to fly. However, Lion can find means to fly as fast as a bird. E.g. inventing an airplane, or fixing mechanical wings. We do not need free speech for everyone, but we need everyone intelligent and wise to discuss and suggest ideas. Technology allows us to express through the Internet, video, and organize a street demonstration. But a civil society also need to equip itself with knowledge of how to use these mediums peacefully. A newly freed people may be like dogs release out of cage, unable to comprehend social etiquette and gentleness, leading to violence and harm. The people has to learn and figure out a way of expression. And the government has to learn to listen.

I do not see any government as being too different. Only the people are different, and has to be governed differently. Any culture has intelligent people, but how to bring out their talents to benefit the country, is a challenge for any government. Allowing them to speak, share, and being challenged, is utmost important way to start.

Reasonableness

I looked at a bunch of young kids in their 13-16. I know the number because they were in secondary school uniform. There were about 5 guys and 3 girls. I saw one of the guy and thought he must be a nerd. Hey how do I know? This nerd was dressed in a short which is pulled up to mid waist with shirt tugged straight into the short. There is another girl with shirt hanging loose outside the skirt, with tanned skin and swift hair. If I were to guess, the school results of the guy must be one of the top, with the girl likely to be mid-point.

In school, we were often taught to be neat and tidy. That means you have to dress according to the rules and regulation. You can be neat in Nike sneakers and rapper jeans, but not pass the school dress codes. You may have beautiful flowing hair and nicely painted nails, but not neat by the school's standard. So neat or not neat is actually obedient or not obedient. One is neat because one is obedient. The scholars often are those who follow rules with discipline and consistency. They are also good at dressing by the book, and thus we can see the nerdy look common among scholars. But is that reasonable?

I felt that many amongst the smart as few sense of beauty. I saw the beautiful people marching in the shopping malls were often those not faring so well at school. They were cockcroaches in school, but the flowers on the streets. Nerds are the other way round, neat in school but thorns in the streets. Beauty is not something that can be easily described and no books can define them. But we know when something is beautiful. They were pleasing to the sight. Young men and women tried to beautify themselves, which I see as a process of learning the social requirements of an adult. However, the school suppresses these learning of the common sense. Alas, we arise the nerds as the new breed of individuals in the society. Highly trained and learned, little common sense and social understanding.

I say, go and let our kids play. Be there for them when they are hurt. Do not suppress their ingenuity.